It is NOT Okay

I’m sure by this point you’ve seen the video. The one of the young African-American woman being removed from a presidential campaign rally in Louisville, being pushed and prodded by numerous campaign supporters while others pummel her with insults or capture the whole incident on their phone. Not one person, not one, steps in and says, “Hey now, this is a human being. Show a little respect for the human race.”  Not one defends. Not one speaks out. Not one.

And I’ve refrained from posting anything about this here because I didn’t want this blog to be political. I’ve kept this place free from politics and campaigns and opinion on government and court decisions and I was determined to do so, until today.

Because today, I realized, THIS IS NOT POLITICAL. 

It’s not about politics. It’s about humanity.

As I watched that girl get pushed and shoved all I could think was, “What are we teaching our children?”

As I’ve seen presidential candidates make fun of all manner of people – other candidates, people with autism, people of all races and creeds, PEOPLE – HUMAN BEINGS, all I can muster up is, “What are we teaching our children?”

As I’ve heard words of hatred and fear and bigotry pour from mouths that at the same time proclaim Christ and Christianity, I cannot help but want to shout, “What are we teaching our children?”

This is not okay!

This is not okay.

It’s. not. okay.

bullyingstopshereThere are no free passes because these things are attached to politics. There are no circumstances in the world that make these words, these actions, these attitudes morally or ethically right. This country has spent the last several years creating and investing in entire campaigns against bullying in our schools and it is being undone in a single presidential campaign by the very adults who are supposed to be the examples to the kids.

It. is. not. okay. 

Especially for Christians. But universally for everyone. 

It is not okay to physically harm other people because you are angry. I don’t care if you feel your cause is right. It is not okay.

It is not okay to viciously make fun of people. Period. That’s it. There’s absolutely no leeway with that. It’s called bullying. And if you do it in elementary school, you get suspended.  It is not okay. 

It is not okay to express your frustrations with the government and your grievances with the political system by attacking other human beings, threatening people of different races, or intimidating those who disagree with you.  It’s NOT okay to do that!

I realize that my reach is very small. I realize that I am only adding a very small voice to a very large group of people that are saying similar things.  But to remain silent in the face of such outright and flagrant disregard for humanity is to add my voice to those who give assent to the actions. I become like those who hold up their phone and take a video of the brutality, rather than having the courage to step in and say “This is NOT okay!”

I can no longer hide behind the flag of “I don’t want to be political”; rather I have to state the obvious and say, “This is not about politics. This is about human decency and I, for the sake of my children and all future generations who are seeing these things, must say, ‘I am not okay with this because this is NOT okay.'”

stopbullyingLest we fool ourselves into thinking our kids are oblivious, we need to know that our kids
have seen the videos. They’ve seen the ugliness that is being carried out in our country today. They hear the insults and the veiled threats and the disparaging way our soon-to-be leaders are speaking about each other and about other people.

Let’s make sure we tell them, “This is not okay. This is not who we are called to be. This is not normal. This is wrong.”

I’m not here to tell you how to vote.

I’m here to remind you there is a lot more at stake than the political office.

There is an entire generation learning how to approach life and seeing, hearing, and observing despicable things while watching us tape it on our phones.

And whether we realize it or not, we are discipling them by not saying, “This is not okay.” I’ve been convicted that my silence in the one place I have a voice is no longer acceptable. Even if this is only read by a few people, it’s already been read by the ones who matter most to me – my kids. And they know that these behaviors, these words they are hearing, these attitudes they are seeing… these things are not okay. And they never, ever will be.

Love God. Love Others. 
Simple as that. Anything else is not okay.

Read the follow-up post here.

Author’s Note: I am both humbled and amazed by the number of people who have read, shared and commented on this blog. Thank you very much for your encouragement and support. 

Also, a number of commenters have tried to use this blog to purposefully incite discussions that are inflammatory in nature and attempt to use this space to push a political campaign or personal agenda. Those comments will not be approved per the author’s discretion. Healthy conversation is fine and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, but I don’t want this to be a place where we attack each other or others. Thank you for understanding and respecting that desire. 


For more information about

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook. 

About the author

Family(40)Christina Embree is wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and family minister at Nicholasville UMC. She is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. Currently studying Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family,  Seedbed, and ChildrensMinistryBlog.com.

 

149 thoughts on “It is NOT Okay

  1. This is, without a doubt, the best thing I’ve read lately concerning politics and bullying. In fact, it’s the best thing about anything I’ve read in quite some time. Thank you so much for speaking out!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. From an avowed agnostic: I haven’t; read a single thing that has summed up what I have been feeling better than this.. We have fallen off the slippery slope. I hate that children are hearing some of the hateful things that are being said about race, religion, and sexuality. That is going to be something we can;t “unteach” them.

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  3. Thank you Jesus! I believe that many people are saddened by many of the things we’ve seen and heard over the last few years. I will be sharing this post with others.

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  4. This is so very refreshing. I hope more people take a stand against the lack of respect and hatred that we have all seen as of late. It does make a difference to let your voice be heard, no matter how big or small. God Bless you and your family.

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  5. Well said. I’ve seen the video and I think about would o have intervened during that moment. I pray so! My heart hurt seeing how people were treating her and how no one stepped in.

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  6. I, am a Christian. I do not like what I am seeing during this political year either. We are definitely teaching children the wrong things here. However, I do want to state that two white off duty police officers did come to her aid and helped her to get out of the building and that was not reflected in the video or on the news. They did not want to see her get hurt.

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  7. I fully agree with you…Bullying by politicians is still bullying, and worse…it gives their followers the message that bullying is ok, violence is ok, herd behavior is ok. Thank you for stating so clearly that none of this is ok. However, this is not “especially for Christians”…Christ was not a Christian…his message was the transforming power of Love…This is what HH the Dalai Lama calls the religion of kindness and compassion. All humanity needs to stand against bullying. Especially for humans!

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    • As stated several times previously, I agree this is applicable to all human beings, not just those who profess to be Christian, my audience up until this point has tended to be those who identify with the Christian faith. Also, many of those who are supporting candidates with these behaviors or even doing them themselves claim to be Christians, so I wanted to specifically address that claim. The reason I used the phrase “especially for Christians” is because the foundation of our faith teaches us to love God and love others, so especially for those who profess to follow that standard, there is a need for accountability.

      I’m not denoting how non-Christians hold themselves to a lower standard, but it is not the same standard as Christianity because that one necessarily starts with God. Yes we are all in this together, but our basis for morality and action starts in a different place, and that was all I was addressing when speaking specifically to those who profess to be Christian.

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      • Yes! Because we profess to believe in Jesus Christ, we ARE held to a higher standard of behavior. Which is the one thing that is held against us so often when we fail. I’ve heard many times “If that’s what being a Christian is like, I want no part of such hypocracy!”

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      • Where do you think the ability to bully others comes from? It’s from believing that you are somehow “higher”, “better”, “more knowing” than the “other”. Christians claiming that they should behave in a more “Godly” way is part of the problem, not part of the solution. It is still an “us” against “them” mentality. You are beginning with the premise that you are better than everyone else because of your religion. How do you think that any other Christian justifies their bullying behavior? By believing they are right, everyone else is somehow “beneath”, so it’s okay to treat them as subhumans. As much as I appreciate the “This is Not Okay” sentiment, you might want to look at the premise that your “Christ-like” call is why you should behave like a decent human being. Your “basis for morality” is unethical. You don’t need a reason to be kind to another human being. And using religion as a reason to perform “good” or compassionate behavior also allows people to use religion to justify “bad” or violent behavior. It’s two sides of the same coin. You don’t get to have the one without the other.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I disagree with you wholeheartedly on this sentiment. Any person who claims to be a Christian but thinks they are better than anyone else has not understood the main premise of Christianity. The whole point of Christ’s teachings is that we are all equal, we are all uniquely created and individually loved, and we all have purpose and dignity because of that. There is not beneath or above, greater or lesser, better or worse. Or as Paul put it, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

        I’m am so sad to hear that you have had experiences with people who call themselves Christians that would indicate anything less than that. While I agree that you don’t have to have a reason to be kind to another individual, I do believe that if someone claims to follow a teaching (like Christianity) but does not act in accordance with that teaching, they should be held accountable to that. It’s not a matter of using religion to perform good behavior or justify wrong behavior- it’s a matter of integrity and accountability.

        In like fashion, people use laws in America like the right to free speech to do horrible things and to do wonderful things, we don’t throw away the law and negate its value based on the way people use it. We hold people accountable to it. The thing about Christianity, if one truly understands it, the foundation is love (the greatest law according to Jesus is to love God and to love others). The ways people twist that doesn’t negate it, but they will be held accountable for it, especially if they claim to hold to the teachings of Christ.

        If this thread turns into anything other than healthy, respectful conversation, I’ll have to delete it, but I did feel your questions and frankly, the way you questioned my own character and integrity, needed addressed. Thank you for sharing. I hope that you can hear my heart as well.

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  8. Thank you. Thank you for reminding me. My husband and I have seen the videos and I know that our 3 yo has seen then as well. She hears us talk about the issues with each other but upon reading this I realized that I hadn’t taken the time to tell her that this, this mean, hurtful, hate-filled video is not okay. This is wrong. It is not acceptable. We won’t stand idly by and watch someone hurt another person. Thank you for reminding me to use these examples to teach my children about how we do and don’t treat others.

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  9. WOW! You just made me want to pay more close attention to a subject I would rather hide from! Thank you for sharing the perfect words for such a time as this – I’m sure you have spoken for all God’s people! I would like to share this on my blog if I may? Blessings,

    Constance
    SimplyLiving101.com

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  10. The only thing I take exception with is the, “especially Christians,” part. And only because a) it almost gives a pass to those of us who aren’t, and b) Christianity isn’t what makes a person decent – there are good, caring people in all walks. Please don’t think that those of us not of your religious belief are somehow less moral because of it; rather, hold everyone to the same high standards of love and care. And not because the Bible says, but because it’s right. That’s how we all work together to create better.

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    • As stated several times previously, I agree this is applicable to all human beings, not just those who profess to be Christian, my audience up until this point has tended to be those who identify with the Christian faith. Also, many of those who are supporting candidates with these behaviors or even doing them themselves claim to be Christians, so I wanted to specifically address that claim. The reason I used the phrase “especially for Christians” is because the foundation of our faith teaches us to love God and love others, so especially for those who profess to follow that standard, there is a need for accountability.

      I’m not denoting how non-Christians hold themselves to a lower standard, but it is not the same standard as Christianity because that one necessarily starts with God. Yes we are all in this together, but our basis for morality and action starts in a different place, and that was all I was addressing when speaking specifically to those who profess to be Christian.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Thank you for having the courage to speak out about this. I am not a Christian, but I also am filled with dismay and frustration because of the ugliness that our political process has become. We can’t NOT comment on this because to not condemn it is allowing it.

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  12. Agree. Love God. And you will love others. Yet there was more to the scene not shown causing many to be blind. Shoving is still NOT OK. Yet those doing just that were the victims of those who shoved their way into the front to “cause and provoke”. Widen the lens of perspective, ask God what breaks His heart here, and pray for reconciliation.

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    • Respectfully, I still feel that if there was more to the scene, the behavior that was exhibited was not okay. The people who chose to push, shove, insult or just do nothing were not victims. They chose to react in anger and apathy. There is no defense in the world for that. Being provoked by someone else doesn’t give anyone the right to do something immoral. With a wide perspective, isn’t it better to say that universally, this is not right rather than find ways to excuse wrongdoing? I believe that is what breaks God’s heart.

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  13. Pingback: It is NOT Okay | Bread on Our Journey

  14. Excellent post! I am not sure I totally agree with you on the statement of filming and doing nothing.
    The film of the hideous treatment of this young woman is being used to identity her assailants so that they can be charged legally for their actions. One person still remain unidentified, the others have all been names and are being legally charged with assault. This could have never happened without whoever filmed this using their camera phone to bear witness. Otherwise, we might have never known it happened.
    Your powerful blog post here would not have existed if this incident had not been filmed – you might have never known it happened. The candid cell phone video has become a blazing white light turned on the terrible actions of those who would rather hide in the darkness of anonymity than be exposed for the world to see.
    I think the real problem is the news media who film such incidents with a manic glee and then glorify the behaviors of politicians on down for the sake of news ratings.
    I wish deeply other people had jumped in and blocked the harassment of this woman, saying “No, this is wrong, you may not do this!” I’m grateful to learn here that there were 2 policemen who got her out. But the person who filmed this has raised awareness and done incredible good by bearing witnesses to what happened, instead of at best it disappearing into a 3rd page buried half inch column of news, or perhaps never being known about at all.
    Its also harder to lie with visually recorded evidence. No one can say she was the assailant, or attribute actions to her that she did not do.
    So, I’m glad someone pulled out their camera. I think they are a hero, and I think their video has become a powerful anti-bullying, anti-violence tool unto itself.

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  15. Dear Christina Embree: Thank you for speaking out against the hysterical denunciations and rantings against minorities, disadvantaged, opposition candidates, women, disabled and on and on. This country, sadly, has descended into the abyss of insults, name-calling and mean-spirited bullying which makes me, personally, feel so ashamed of what are supposed to be the creme de la creme of our selections for representatives of our government. In my whole life (and I’m past 85) have I ever had to listen to such a discordant chorus of ugliness being spewed over the airwaves, and to really add insult to the ugliness, these specimens invoke their idea of “Christianity” to justify their motives. SHAME ON ALL OF THEM! You’re right when you ask, “what is this unspeakable mysogeny teaching our children?” And what kind of ugly influences are being hatched against our country by foreign countries who, not too long ago, looked upon the U.S. as the leader of the free world? Thank you for speaking out!

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  16. I hope you mean Republicans when you refer to “soon to be leaders” because everything I listen to coming from the democratic campaign is decent discussions about real issues concerning this country. I have yet to hear an insulting personal judgement come from a democratic canidate.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am afraid I would have to disagree with you on that as I’ve seen behavior that I would not deem appropriate from that side as well. But regardless of what side we fall on, I hope we can all agree that this kind of behavior is not okay. As I tried to explain in the blog, it really isn’t about politics – it’s about human decency and respect.

      Like

  17. This is a Love issue. It reaches beyond the political as you have very clearly shown us all. I call this a Love issue because real Love , not the weak watered down sentiment that we even in Christian circles so often see says, “NO!”. That does not fit the warm fuzzy comfy love we are used to handling as if it could be contained on a greeting card. Love has great power to change and it does so at times by telling people where the line is that should not be crossed. Then it shows a line to a Cross where True Love was displayed. My point is looking to mankind to find the measure of Love will always leave us missing the mark. Seeking the Kingdom of God and His righteousness (Christ) first is the only permanent way that all will recognize equality and Love for one another as God is not a respecter of people. All stand equal in Christ. Is the Body acting this way sadly no not even close. We do have the answer if we opened and read the Love Letter from the Father instead of pounding it. I thank you for standing to speak the truth. It’s not OK! It is so far from okay I am ashamed to be human.

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  18. Thank you for writing these words. I am embarrassed and ashamed at the way most of these “professional” people have acted. When a 12 year old makes comments about how rude or mean some of these men are, it speaks loudly and clearly to my heart. Loving your neighbor is not a popular choice these days. It’s difficult to battle the barrage of “me first” messages we encounter everyday, and then men (and women) that are aspiring to take the world leadership role–President of the United States –act like junior high schoolers. It is up to us to use these unfortunate circumstances to teach our kids, “it’s NOT ok!”

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  19. Thank you for this. We must be praying for our leaders and the outcome of this election. Pray especially for those who are children now, but will become our future leaders, as their knowledge, attitudes and beliefs are forming now.

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  20. I am not a Christian, I am a Jew. Thank you for your words. It’s not okay no matter your religion, no matter if you have no religion. The ugliness in this campaign by the candidates and their supporters, on all sides, has made me profoundly sad. Thank you for being a bright beacon of hope.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I have struggled with the words to put the situation into perspective. I would never presume to tell anyone else how to vote but to incite hate or to be a bully Is. Not. Ok. As a nation people are angry and scared and sick of feeling like they don’t matter. These persistent feelings have found an outlet and rational thought, compassion, and decency have fled. Thank you for the reminder that humanity and compassion supercede political umbrage. No matter what brought people to this place, It. Is. Not. Ok!

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  22. I loved reading your post. I have a saying, “Wrong is wrong no matter the excuse”. There are many things for which I understand the reason they were done, but if it is wrong, that should be addressed appropriately. This brings me to another observation. I know the intent here was to address a blatant inappropriate response to the behavior of this woman, but I wish to bring up a concern mirrored here in this event. I am an African American. I have seen African Americans inappropriately disrupt venues for the sake of their agendas (I am not commenting about the appropriateness of the agendas themselves). I wish to say that I am teaching my granddaughter that though I may not disagree always with their message, I may disagree with the way they deliver it. In our discussion of behavior with our kids, I think it is best to discuss the behavior of both. My grandchild needs to know that it is not okay to protest inappropriate behavior by engaging in inappropriate behavior. I do not want her given a pass on this because her skin is black and there have been historical abuses. I wish her to be held to the same Biblical standards (and societal standards) as any other skin color. It may help to save her life but it also helps her to reflect Christ.

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    • I agree with you. I wasn’t trying to pinpoint any one action rather to share that many of the things we’ve seen during this campaign cycle are and will always be wrong no matter who does it at what time. Thank you for teaching your grandchildren kindness.

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      • I believe I understood your intent. Of the blog and I agree with it. I only wished to impart some other thoughts into the discussion. I do wish to apologize if I took it somewhere you did not wish it to go. I am enjoying the grace and wisdom with which you are replying to some of the comments.

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  23. Well said. I live outside the US so I could say it doesn’t affect me but it does !! It should affect everyone, regardless of their politics. It is so much more than politics and so much more than an American issue. It is exactly what you say – a human issue. It is behavior that we would not accept from children, co-workers, or friends. It is cruel and dehumanizing. Everyone needs to stand up in their own little corner of the world, like you have, and show that it is unacceptable. Maybe the major players won’t get the message but the people we interact with will hopefully . That action can make the world a little kinder, a little more thoughtful, one person at a time.

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  24. Pingback: It is NOT Okay | the rose-colored lense

  25. Someone sent me your post on Facebook. Just realized we are in the same Conference. This was my reply ….

    I have been serving as a Pastor for 25 years and it never ceases to amaze me how many bullies there are in churches. I have lost count of the number of times that I have been verbally attacked, insulted, demeaned, maligned, belittled and betrayed. I have been yelled at, shouted down and put down time and again while other church folk sat silently, acquiescing to and thus perpetuating a cycle of violence in a place of peace. It’s no wonder that our churches are empty. If a Pastor who has had years of training in conflict resolution and years to harden his/her heart against such unprovoked attacks (not to mention years of therapy) lives in constant fear of his/her abusive parishioners just IMAGINE how a newcomer to the church must feel when they witness this seemingly “condoned” behavior. What a difference it would make if just ONE church member would be bold enough to say, THIS IS NOT OK!!!!

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  26. You seem very selective with your outrage. Where is your anger when Christians are hated, mocked and belittled by homosexual activists, abortionists, and “progressives”? It’s amazing how some Christian voices have chosen this moment to break their silence on political issues after ignoring the last decade of morally bankrupt national leadership. It is NOT okay to be rude, but you better widen your focus.

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    • “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Mt. 5:1:11, 12

      I debated allowing this comment, and I did only because I feel compelled to share these words of Christ. My outrage in regard to the things you have mentioned isn’t directed at people rather, I recognize that as warned by Jesus himself, that in this world, we will have trouble, just as he did and just as the prophets before him did. I cannot expect better treatment than my own Savior experienced and rather than assuming that I deserve better, I am grateful for immense amount of freedom I have been given.

      I chose to “break my silence” not about a political issue, as stated repeatedly, but about the specific behaviors demonstrated across the board in this election cycle. I targeted no one (yes, one specific incident did tip the scales for me and lead me to write the blog, but I did not target anyone). Rather I addressed behaviors and said that those behaviors are not okay. If you disagree with me about that, then we simply cannot find common ground. But if you agree with me that those behaviors are not okay, under any circumstance towards anyone, then I fail to see how we are at odds. I don’t find it amazing that some Christian voices have chosen this moment to break their silence. I’m amazed at the many who have not.

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  27. I completely agree! What we are witnessing is not okay and it makes me so very sad. I have no words to describe how sad! Thank you for this post. I will share!

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  28. I asked my 20 something just-happens-to-be-white, gay, all-american as apple pie, current US Army active reservist/insurance salesman and financial advisor, and AVID Trump supporter neighbor… about the people being violently ejected from his leader’s rallies and all he would say was “those rallies are private of supporters who are authorized to be there, the protestors are creating a disturbance and there’s nothing wrong with throwing them out…”

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      • Oh, I agree, but I did want to underline the complete disconnect between you and the people you are upset with. I tried to explain to him what was wrong with his view, without the slightest success. He moved on to critically contrast his man’s rightiousness with the Bern’s obvious weakness for “cow-towing” to BLM protests at his own rallies… The whole scene gave me a chilling flash of deja vue coming from old WWII movies I have seen! The Shadow said, “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?” and I think we should all know by now; question is, what to do about it beyond calling it out, when so many ears are tightly shut?

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  29. Reblogged this on Hopping Hadrian's Wall and commented:
    “I can no longer hide behind the flag of “I don’t want to be political”; rather I have to state the obvious and say, “This is not about politics. This is about human decency and I, for the sake of my children and all future generations who are seeing these things, must say, ‘I am not okay with this because this is NOT okay.’”

    Like

  30. Thank you for writing this. It needed to be be said just the way you said it. It is NOT okay to be mean spirited and call people names because they don’t agree with you. This is not just in politics but in life. In talking about being an example for our children we must also include organized sports. Lets set a better example for our kids in what good sportsmanship is and it is NOT okay to have a tantrum because you don’t like the position your child was assigned or a game didn’t go well. Funny how I feel like some of the politicians or parents should be wiping off their knees when they get out of their sand boxes just like the kids do. I’m tired of hearing of parents “fighting” at little league games and the police being called. THAT is NOT okay! Why have adults forgotten it’s our jobs to be an example?

    Like

  31. Very well said. I’ve been hearing so many people wondering what can be done about the kind of culture we seem to be deteriorating into. Your post reminds us that we can each respond to specific incidents when we see them. I’m reminded of the powerful story that a former white supremacist tells. He tried to hide the swastika tattoo on his hand from the African-American woman taking his order at McDonald’s. She saw it, though, and said to him, “You’re better than that.” That remark was one of the things that led him out of that lifestyle. It can be that simple – and that profound.

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  32. Pingback: The Not-So-Golden Rule | r e F o c u s

  33. What if this is what happens when people don’t want to risk being seen by others as “political” until a heckuva chain of non-reversible cause/effect pairs reaches a situation they can’t be silent about?

    Isn’t that a bit like complaining about an election you didn’t vote in? Or relaxing in the house every night until — because you never got in the habit of checking the barn door — one night all the horses got out and ran off?

    An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of umbrage, perhaps?

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    • Hi, thanks for your comment and thoughts. While I did say that I wanted to keep this space (my blog about ministry to families and children in the church) clear of politics, I did not say that I did not share my own views, thoughts and ideas elsewhere. Respectfully I disagree with your implication that by choosing not to speak to politics on this site is akin to complaining without voting or relaxing without taking preventative measures. Rather it is an awareness that certain platforms are appropriate for political discussion and some are not. Frankly, I feel that is respectful and wholly appropriate. However, there are other platforms and places I have and do share my concerns politically and have not qualms about doing so. It’s just a matter of respect for and in appropriate time and space.

      Like

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