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Benefits of Intergenerational Community For Every Generation

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You all know by now that I am a strong advocate for creating spaces in our churches for multiple generations to connect, to worship, and to be together. And generally when I share this sentiment it is in reference to generational discipleship and the passing of our faith from one generation to another. It’s focused on the spiritual and communal benefits that all generations receive when they learn from and experience life with people of varying ages and life experiences.

I recently shared this information that highlights the most recent research done in this particular area.

Barna Group has recently completed a study focused on children’s ministry that has yielded some important information about how that discipleship journey plays out. They shared this information recently at the Awana Child Discipleship Summit and here is what they found:  It wasn’t enough for a child to be simply be involved in children’s ministry at their church in order to engage in the formative practices and meaningful characteristics of a disciple. There needed to be more, another integral step, another piece to the puzzle: Relationship.

They discovered that when kids have a meaningful relationship with an adult in the church, they are twice as likely to have an ongoing relationship with the church.

They are three times more likely to be engaged in Scripture including understanding the metanarrative of Scripture and integrating biblical principles in their life.

They are twice as likely to say church matters to them, three times as likely to see church as a highlight in their week, and three times as likely to read the Bible on their own.

The conclusion drawn by the researchers at Barna Group? (and I quote) “The meaningful relationships individuals have as a children fundamentally influence the stability of their future faith.”

Now, here’s the reality check: Only 2 out of 5 kids in children’s ministry have a positive, meaningful relationship with a mentoring adult. Two. Out of Five. That’s only 40% of kids in children’s ministry at a given church (For more, The Next Great (KidMin) Revolution Is Nothing New)

Now, if all the benefits we could list were found above, that would be motivating enough to begin to explore ways to connect the generations in our faith communities. But the benefits of this type of community do not end there. Over the past 70 years, research has shown the benefits of intergenerational relationships extend far beyond the spiritual into our emotional, mental, and even physical health, impacting our quality of life at every stage and every age.

4 life lessons in 45 minutes

These life lessons came in various forms categorized by the researchers as meaning making, personal growth, emotional valence, wisdom characteristics, life lesson type, and autobiographical memory type. But here’s the important takeaway – connectedness, identity, and healthy development for young and old can be found in conversation with one another.

Last year, researchers conducted a study where university students met with a group of older, aging individuals and were encouraged them to have a discussion (Source). Most sat and talked for about 45 minutes and shared a mutual dialogue without prompt or guidance. Afterwards, the researchers coded the recorded conversations and found something very interesting: During the course of the conversation, the elder individuals offered, on average, four life lessons in the form of story to the listening younger generation.(Source)

Benefits for Older Adults

  • Improved physical health: Older adults that interact regularly with younger generations burn more calories, experience fewer falls, and are less reliant on canes.
  • Improved mental health: They perform better on memory tests, and those with dementia experience more positive effects than in non-intergenerational activities.
  • Improved emotional health: Feelings of isolation and depression decrease AND feelings of self-worth and happiness increases (Source).

Benefits for Middle-Aged Adults

  • Improved familial relationships –  Middle-aged respondents who reported more positive and less negative ties with their parents AND reported more positive and less negative ties with their own children (Source).
  • Improved mental health – For many middle-aged adults, their social relationships shrink over time with less and less of a social network and more isolation. However, the evidence suggests that, generally, the more varied your social network, the happier and healthier you will be (Source)
  • Improved physical health – Research has found found that people with adequate social (intergenerational) relationships have a 50 per cent lower mortality risk compared with those who report poor social relationships (Source).

Benefits for Youth & Young Adults

  • Improved social skills –  Teens in intergenerational relationships see enhanced social skills and more stability in their daily lives, which can help them do well in school and steer clear of negative influences (Source). 
  • Improved life experience – In one study, the following were all reported by young adults as a result of their participation in intergenerational relationships: 1) enjoyment 2) feeling rewarded 3) changes in search for meaning in life 4) enhanced academic learning 5) insights into careers in aging 6) improved perceptions of older adults 7) emotional connections with older adults 8) uneasiness with giving advice to older adults 9) improved skills for interacting with older adults 10) changes in service motivation.

Benefits for Children & Youth

  • Improved life experience – 46% less likely to begin using illegal drugs; 27% less likely to begin using alcohol; 52% less likely to skip school; 37% less likely to skip a class; 33% less likely to hit someone (Findings from Big Brother, Big Sister program).
  • Improved social and emotional development – Research results show that children from intergenerational academic programs had higher levels of social acceptance, a greater willingness to help and greater empathy for older people, slightly more positive attitudes, and better able to self-regulate their behavior than children from traditional age-segregated programs (Source)

We can see that the benefits of intergenerational community are vast and impact all generations. We also know that the existing of meaningful relationships across congregations is directly correlated to resilience and faith retention in rising generations. We see examples throughout Scripture of generational discipleship and intergenerational community.

There simply is NO reason for us not to begin creating spaces and opportunities within our churches for intentional intergenerational community, to cultivate meaningful relationships, to provide times of corporate worship, and to engage all generations in the mission and service of the church both to one another and our community. In fact, exactly the opposite – all reason points to us moving more and more towards times together rather than times apart.

Psalm 78:1-7

My people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth.
I will open my mouth with a parable; I will utter hidden things, things from of old—
 things we have heard and known, things our ancestors have told us.
We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation
the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done.
He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel,
which he commanded our ancestors to teach their children,
So the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born,
    and they in turn would tell their children.
Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds
    but would keep his commands.

Are You Ready to Connect Generations?

Are you interested in moving your church from a traditional, age-segregated into a more family-focused, intergenerational focus, connecting the home and the church?  

Refocus Ministry would be happy to begin a conversation with your team and church about the how your church can grow in serving the families of your church and community and connecting your faith community in relationship with each other.  

Ongoing coaching through various means is also available as your church continues the transition including weekly emails, monthly on-line trainings, and continued conversations. In addition to one-on-one coaching calls and follow-up resources, the following large-group presentations can be made available to your team, pastoral staff, or congregation.

Options to choose from for these presentations include:

  1. Presenting on a Sunday morning to your worship service(s)
  2. A parent webinar on Everyday Discipleship and partnering with the church community
  3. A presentation on Connecting Generations (importance, need, Biblical foundation) for your leadership team
  4. A training on a specific area of ministry such as Family VBS, Partnering with Parents, Equipping Volunteers, Creating an Intergenerational Culture for your ministry or leadership team.
  5. OTHER – We will work to create a presentation that best suits your community’s needs

Use the contact form below to receive a customized quote for your congregations needs. We look forward to journeying with you to make Psalm 145, one generation to another, part of our church’s DNA.

For more information about…

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this Blog

Refocus Ministry was founded by Christina Embree in 2014 as a blog and now a nonprofit coaching and consulting ministry. Christina serves with her husband Luke and three children as church planters and pastors at Plowshares BIC. She speaks conferences and churches around the globe and also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ.

With over a decade in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home, equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith, and nurturing intergenerational community in the church. She holds a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry from Wesley Seminary and is currently completing a doctorate of ministry in spiritual formation. blogs at refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed.

The Next Great (KidMin) Revolution Is Nothing New

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The great Christian revolutions come not by the discovery of something that was not known before. They happen when someone takes radically something that was always there.

Reinhold Niebuhr, American theologian

“Go therefore and make disciples” Matthew 28:19

The call to make disciples isn’t a new one. It is as ancient as the Christian faith, given by Christ himself before His ascension into heaven.

The journey of a disciple isn’t a new phenomenon. Christian Scripture and history are both filled with stories and testimonies of people who have come to know and follow Christ, from young to old, from all over the world. 

The information about when that discipleship journey begins for most current Christians isn’t new. In 2015, it was reported that 63% of Christian adults started their discipleship journey between the ages of 4-14 (Source).

But here is what is new.

Barna Group has recently completed a study focused on children’s ministry that has yielded some important information about how that discipleship journey plays out. They shared this information recently at the Awana Child Discipleship Summit and here is what they found:  It wasn’t enough for a child to be simply be involved in children’s ministry at their church in order to engage in the formative practices and meaningful characteristics of a disciple. There needed to be more, another integral step, another piece to the puzzle: Relationship.

They discovered that when kids have a meaningful relationship with an adult in the church, they are twice as likely to have an ongoing relationship with the church.

They are three times more likely to be engaged in Scripture including understanding the metanarrative of Scripture and integrating biblical principles in their life.

They are twice as likely to say church matters to them, three times as likely to see church as a highlight in their week, and three times as likely to read the Bible on their own.

The conclusion drawn by the researchers at Barna Group? (and I quote) “The meaningful relationships individuals have as a children fundamentally influence the stability of their future faith.”

Now, here’s the reality check: Only 2 out of 5 kids in children’s ministry have a positive, meaningful relationship with a mentoring adult.

Two. Out of Five. That’s only 40% of kids in children’s ministry at a given church.

Even more telling than that. Only 53% of churchgoing adults identified “Have a loving, caring relationship with an adult” as an outcome for children’s ministry (75% of ministry leaders agreed). That means half of adult church members and a quarter of ministry leaders did not see developing a meaningful relationship between younger and older generations as an identifiable goal and desired outcome for ministry to children.

Re-read this quote from Reinhold Niebuhr again.

The great Christian revolutions come not by the discovery of something that was not known before. They happen when someone takes radically something that was always there.

The call to make disciples has always been here. Our children have always been here. Paul spoke directly to them in the letters he wrote to the church. Jesus put a child in the middle of all his disciples and declared the least to be the greatest in the kingdom of God.

It is time to take radically the call to welcome children and not hinder them.

It is time for us to create spaces and make room for children and youth and young adults to grow with us, worship with us, learn with us, serve with us, laugh with us, cry with us, question and doubt and argue and debate with us, to be in relationship with us so as to become disciples of Jesus with us.

J.T English in his book Deep Discipleship states, “Community is indispensable to discipleship, but community is not discipleship.” The two go hand-in-hand.

If we are not cultivating spaces in our churches and faith communities for our youngest and our oldest and all the generations in between to develop meaningful relationships in community and learning, we are missing out on our call to disciple-making.

It’s not new but it is time for us to take radically that which was always there.

If you have ever felt alone in your heart for intergenerational ministry, if you have ever wondered what the next right step is or been curious about how you can best serve your church’s discipleship or mentorship ministry, then a ReFocus Ministry Coaching Cohort might the place for you.

ReFocus Coaching Cohorts provide ministry leaders with the opportunity to expand their leadership skills in a twelve-week shared learning experience. Facilitated by an experienced coach, a cohort group of 7-10 individuals from multiple faith organizations meet weekly to explore and apply the principles of leadership in generational discipleship, intergenerational ministry, and church culture transition. Through extensive exploration, inquiry and dialogue, the coach and fellow cohort members help participants identify their role in generational discipleship within their faith community and deepen their leadership capability.

NEW COHORT FORMING FALL 2022

Apply Now
Learn More

Benefits

  • Accountability and growth within a community of like-minded ministers
  • Access to resources available only to cohort members, including up to one year of monthly personal coaching
  • Real-life moments and collective learning within the group that can be addressed by both the coach and the other members.
  • Ability to participate in ReFocus presenter platform as a local ReFocus representative.

ReFocus cohorts provide a confidential, open environment for ministers to strengthen their effectiveness in ‘real-time’ situations. It is intended for people who have experience in ministry and are ready to build the skills needed to be leaders in generational discipleship and intergenerational ministry.

Included in Coaching Cohort Package

  • Twelve weekly trainings/Zoom calls with coach.
  • Choice of 1 webinar with resources for church/congregation (for use within one year of cohort start).
  • Family Faith Formation TALK TOOLS curriculum (Digital download available after first 12 weeks).
  • One year of monthly, 30-minute, one-on-one coaching conversations.
  • Access to private Facebook group for cohort members only.
  • Lifetime 10% discount on all ReFocus seminars, workshops, webinars, and/or coaching packages

For more information or to speak to someone about any questions, please fill out the contact form below with the Subject of “ReFocus Coaching Cohort”

For more information about…

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this Blog

Refocus Ministry was founded by Christina Embree in 2014 as a blog and now a nonprofit coaching and consulting ministry. Christina serves with her husband Luke and three children as church planters and pastors at Plowshares BIC. She speaks conferences and churches around the globe and also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ.

With over a decade in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home, equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith, and nurturing intergenerational community in the church. She holds a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry from Wesley Seminary and is currently completing a doctorate of ministry in spiritual formation. blogs at refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed.

The Capacity to Love Cannot Be Built in Isolation

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“The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation.”

Maybe it’s because so much of the last two years has felt isolating.

Maybe it’s because so much of what I’ve observed in the public square has lacked the overt quality of love.

Maybe it’s because the idea of love not being a feeling but a capacity that needs building is something I’ve always believed but never really pondered.

But this morning, I became acutely aware of the need for love and the reality of isolation. I had written this blog originally back in 2020 but as I contemplated the upcoming Valentine’s Day holiday and the deep need for real love to be experienced in our world and in our lives, I could not help but think back to this post.

“For years mental health professionals taught people that they could be psychologically healthy without social support, that “unless you love yourself, no one else will love you.”…The truth is, you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation”

Bruce D. Perry, The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist’s Notebook

There are some things we can’t change. For many of us, the desire for things to “return to normal” has kept us from pursuing new ways of connecting. Even as we dove into new things like Zoom meetings and Facebook Live, as we’ve driven around neighborhoods dropping off activity packs or hosting socially-distanced outdoor events in parking lots and public parks, we’ve done so with a “until we can get back to the way things were” approach.

But is has become increasingly obvious that we are not going back to the way things were. It is time we begin embracing and living into the way things are. Why?

We have been changed, our children and youth have been changed, and our communities have been changed, physically, emotionally and spiritually (Source: WebMD). Words have been said that maybe we regret or only said out of frustration or weariness. Things have been posted that maybe over time we will wish we had tweaked or even kept to ourselves. There’s been a lot of heartache, confusion, and contemplation; public processing as we all try to navigate this reality.

Rather than simply return back to our pre-Covid models in an attempt to preserve what we used to call “normalcy,” perhaps now is the time to stop and consider…how do we want to return?

In the past, part of our church may have been isolated even when we gathered because of age segregation and lack of generational inclusion.

What would it look like to begin again, together, with intentional space for multiple generations to interact and connect with each other?

Perhaps church gatherings and programs were primarily created and led by representatives of one or two generations and focused on keeping things as simple and reproducible as possible.

What if coming back, more generations and representation were invited in to discussions on how things can change to be more connectional, less isolated, and more integrated at all levels?

Maybe we felt like it was the job of our “pastoral professionals” to handle things like discipleship and service opportunities.

What if in our return, the laity were empowered and equip for generational discipleship in their homes (parents/grandparents/caregivers), in their faith community (multigenerational), and in their workplaces (apprenticeship and mentorship)?

These changes that bring us together across generational lines don’t have to wait until we are gathered again in a single space in the flesh. Think about it! Now is the time to begin planning for whatever the next stage of this crazy reality brings. Now is the time to begin reaching out across generational lines and connecting people to each other. Even if you can’t “be together” in the same room, it’s time to start laying the ground and creating the space for a true coming together in heart and spirit.

  • Intercessory prayer using the Pray for Me campaign.
  • Intergenerational Zoom prayer meetings.
  • Multigenerational committees set up to talk about the return to in-person services.
  • Cultivating of resources to help congregants engage with generational discipleship in their homes, faith community and workplaces. Check out GenOn Ministries and Lifelong Faith for some incredible resources.
  • Webinars for parents/grandparents/caregivers to help give them ideas for discipleship at home.
  • Plans to introduce Messy Church or Faith Inkubators/Faith 5 or WE Gatherings.

None of this need wait for us to experience what once was so common. Sitting in pews. Passing the peace. Boisterous singing. Choirs and communion. Oh, how we long for those things to return, but oh, the opportunity we have right now to embrace these other things which will inevitably draw us closer together to God and each other.

And then, when we do return, it may look different, but, just maybe, it will look more like the Church, all ages, all gathered, in community, truly together.

The capacity to love is not built in isolation.

Let’s come together and may Love fill our hearts in ways we’ve never experienced before.

Is Your Church READY to Gather Together?

Are you interested in moving your church from a traditional, age-segregated into a more family-focused, intergenerational focus, connecting the home and the church?  

Refocus Ministry would be happy to begin a conversation with your team and church about the how your church can grow in serving the families of your church and community and connecting your faith community in relationship with each other.  

Ongoing coaching through various means is also available as your church continues the transition including weekly emails, monthly on-line trainings, and continued conversations. In addition to one-on-one coaching calls and follow-up resources, the following large-group presentations can be made available to your team, pastoral staff, or congregation.

Options to choose from for these presentations include:

  1. Presenting on a Sunday morning to your worship service(s)
  2. A parent webinar on Everyday Discipleship and partnering with the church community
  3. A presentation on Connecting Generations (importance, need, Biblical foundation) for your leadership team
  4. A training on a specific area of ministry such as Family VBS, Partnering with Parents, Equipping Volunteers, Creating an Intergenerational Culture for your ministry or leadership team.
  5. OTHER – We will work to create a presentation that best suits your community’s needs

Use the contact form below to receive a customized quote for your congregations needs. We look forward to journeying with you to make Psalm 145, one generation to another, part of our church’s DNA.

For more information about…

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this Blog

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. She also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ.

With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed.

Five Practical Ways to Connect Generations In Your Church

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Wanting something and actually having something are two very different things. I talk to a lot of churches that say they want community, even have community listed as a value or written into their mission statement, but when we actually sit down to talk, community is mentioned as something that they feel is missing. Especially when we talk about intentional community that extends across generational boundaries and into meaningful intergenerational connections.

However, a few churches I’ve had the privilege to journey with have implemented some pretty cool initiatives that have helped them to overcome the barriers between the ages and created spaces and contexts for these types of connection and community to exist.

Here are five practical, real-life examples of intentional community-building that can be implemented in churches of any size or generational population; which one is the best fit for your faith community?

“What’s your gift?”

A church that I am currently working with is doing a FABULOUS thing for Valentine’s Day. The pastor has been working on a series about spiritual gifts and as part of that series, the staff has worked to connect some of the oldest members of their congregation with some of the youngest for a video-taped interview where the young will ask the elder to share about their spiritual gift. As a bonus, the staff has prayerfully connected young people with similar giftings in the hopes of sparking an ongoing connection.

Pray For Me 

This continues to be one of my favorite ways to connect generations in the spiritual practice of prayer. Each child/youth is connected with three prayer partners of multiple generations who commit to praying for that child/youth for a period of time, like a school year or a liturgical year. Some churches have used postcards or bookmarks with some information about the child/youth on it and the prayer partner uses that to help them remember to pray.

The book Pray For Me by Tony Souder along with other resources including a special Pray for Me Grandparents book can be found here and to read about one of my personal experiences with Pray for Me, read here.

Service Sunday

When kids and youth are asked to describe their faith, they are far more likely than adults to use action terms rather than theological or “belief” language. For them, faith in action is faith so one of the best ways to help disciple the younger generations is to create space for service, especially serving alongside adults from other generations.

One church I’ve worked with has partnered with a local rescue mission to do everything from bake cookies to share meals to create “welcome home” baskets for newly housed individuals. All of their service projects have a component that allows for young children to older adults to have a way and a place to serve.  Our church has a Service Sunday every fifth Sunday and while we don’t focus on just one local organization, we do rotate through several ministry partners and work to ensure that there is a way for every age to serve.

Storytime

According to developmental theorist, Eric Erikson, older adults thrive when given a place to share their wisdom and life lessons with rising generations. One church decided to make sure that church was the place they could do that. One Sunday a month, the oldest Sunday School class members spread out into the other classes for Storytime and each of them take a few moments to share a personal story with that other class. Sometimes it’s just a story for fun, sometimes it’s a testimony of their Christian experience, and sometimes it’s a life lesson or teaching moment. Regardless, it’s a time that the whole church looks forward to; a special moment to hear from those who have lived rich full lives and are ready to share their experiences with others.

“Play Ball!” 

I’ve shared about this before and I will share it again because I have found this practical but powerful approach to be an incredible way to create community within a congregation. Place a bulletin board in a visible space and ask parents, kids, and youth to post their sports schedules, theater performances, spelling bees, swim meets, and the like on the board. Then, invite the older church members to visit the board and commit to showing up at these events to cheer on the young people and their families.

I’ve worked with churches who have done some version of this and all of them comment to me about the results. The community grows closer, the families are more connected to the church, and the kids know that they belong to a spiritual family who loves and supports them. For more on one church’s experience, click here.

Any one of the above ideas could be a catalyst to help bring a community of faith closer together. A combination of one or more could begin to shift the culture of the church from one of age segregation to age integration. And implementing three or more could very well create a space for deeper community than perhaps the church has experienced in its memory. Gathering together with the intention of listening, serving, praying, supporting, and affirming one another in our gifts, callings, and state of belonging can only reap benefits of love and joy.

If you would like to begin to explore how your church might move in these directions, reach out using the contact form below for a free initial consult and brainstorming together! It’s time to turn our desire into a realized experience of intentional community and loving God and others together.

If you have ever felt alone in your heart for intergenerational ministry, if you have ever wondered what the next right step is or been curious about how you can best serve your church’s discipleship or mentorship ministry, then a ReFocus Ministry Coaching Cohort might the place for you.

ReFocus Coaching Cohorts provide ministry leaders with the opportunity to expand their leadership skills in a twelve-week shared learning experience. Facilitated by an experienced coach, a cohort group of 7-10 individuals from multiple faith organizations meet weekly to explore and apply the principles of leadership in generational discipleship, intergenerational ministry, and church culture transition. Through extensive exploration, inquiry and dialogue, the coach and fellow cohort members help participants identify their role in generational discipleship within their faith community and deepen their leadership capability.

Interested in learning more? Fill out the contact form below or visit us online at refocusministry.org/cohorts.

For more information about…

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this Blog

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. She also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ.

With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed.

Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon and the Importance of Connectedness

/ christinamembree / Leave a comment

When I was in high school, we used to play a game we called “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.”  Basically, the game was that someone one would say aloud the name of a person or movie and then in six steps or less connect them to Kevin Bacon. For instance, Mission Impossible connects to Tom Cruise who connects to Kevin Bacon in A Few Good Men.

Trust me, it was wildly entertaining to us.

This idea of being connected to someone, even if it is only through a mutual acquaintance, holds meaning for us. We research our family histories, we take DNA tests, we associate ourselves with a heritage or tradition and we connect ourselves to something bigger. And most of us have heard stories from those who have come before us about our ancestors or experiences of connection that our family has had. It helps make up our identity and holds value to us and our experience.

Connectedness is an experience that has been researched by sociologists and developmental psychologists for decades. Research has shown that often the concepts of belonging and identity are directly associated with the sense of connectedness a person has to a group or community. And there is a reason for that – often connectedness is established through story or shared identity and many times that is passed from one generation to the next.

In Erik Erikson’s stages of development, he points to the later stage of life as being a time of Generativity vs. Stagnation. In simple terms, a time of passing on legacy or a time of becoming isolated and alone. Obviously, the latter is preferred to the former in a healthy development. And often this generativity is experienced in intergenerational relationships between young and old.

Last year, some researchers wondered why those conversations were so important so they conducted a study where they intentionally set up some university students with a group of older, aging individuals and encouraged them to have a discussion (Source). Most sat and talked for about 45 minutes and shared a mutual dialogue without prompt or guidance. Afterwards, the researchers coded the recorded conversations and found something very interesting: During the course of the conversation, the elder individuals offered, on average, four life lessons in the form of story to the listening younger generation.

Four life lessons in 45 minutes.

These life lessons came in various forms categorized by the researchers as meaning making, personal growth, emotional valence, wisdom characteristics, life lesson type, and autobiographical memory type. But here’s the important takeaway – connectedness, identity, and healthy development for young and old can be found in conversation with one another.

When we talk about intergenerational ministry and generational discipleship in the church, we are not merely talking about older people and younger people occupying the same space on a Sunday morning.

It’s not just about having a good mix of ages in the room or ensuring that learning and worship opportunities are available to all. Those things are important, yes, but that’s just the salt to the entrée.

The central goal, the real meat of the ministry, is to develop a place of connectedness and identity-forming where communication and conversation inherently leads to mentoring (life lessons) and growth (generativity). It’s about creating space for relationships to form and everyday discipleship to occur.

Four life lessons in 45 minutes.

Could you imagine what could be shared in a faith community if we intentionally and purposefully established time and spaces for our oldest generations to interact with our youngest generations in meaningful times of worship, learning, and serving together?

This is generational discipleship.

It’s not about kids. It’s not about youth. It’s not about adults or senior adults. It’s not about age at all.

It’s about shared story, mutual identity, and simple conversation.

It’s about relationship and connectedness. And ultimately, it’s about being the body of Christ.

ReFocus Coaching Cohorts provide ministry leaders with the opportunity to expand their leadership skills in a twelve-week shared learning experience. Facilitated by an experienced coach, a cohort group of 7-10 individuals from multiple faith organizations meet weekly to explore and apply the principles of leadership in generational discipleship, intergenerational ministry, and church culture transition. Through extensive exploration, inquiry and dialogue, the coach and fellow cohort members help participants identify their role in generational discipleship within their faith community and deepen their leadership capability.

For more information, visit us at www.refocusministry.org/cohorts or fill out the contact form below with “Coaching Cohort” as your subject.

For more information about…

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this Blog

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. She also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ.

With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed.

New Beginnings: A Story of Reimagining Church Together

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A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to hear a story from a church that captures the heart of ReFocus Ministry and I just had to share it with you.  Like many churches in 2020, this church had struggled to regain a sense of community and were feeling the impact of generational gap in tangible ways. Young people were not returning. Older people were isolated. Everyone was feeling the strain of separation.

Upon contacting ReFocus Ministry and beginning the coaching program, it became obvious that there were quite a few barriers integrated into their church culture that kept the generations from forming relationships with one another. They decided to focus on one area in particular: Extracurricular activities. That’s right – sports and drama and spelling bees and choir performances and tee ball tournaments. You see, they discovered that many of their children and youth were involved in these things and that they and their parents faithfully showed up at these events and this church decided, it was high time they showed up there too.

They placed a bulletin board in a main gathering area and invited parents and kids to post schedules of their upcoming events. And then, the older Sunday School classes committed to visiting that bulletin board and taking turns amongst the members committing to showing up in these spaces.

It was a rocky start. New things often are. However, it didn’t take long as the weather warmed up and people could get outside and into bleachers and stadiums for the movement to gain momentum.

By the end of summer, this church could be found all over town at ball games and ballet recitals, cheering on their kids and youth, sitting in the bleachers with parents, and even running concession stands a local softball games.

By fall, the church was abuzz with activity and connection. People spoke one’s another’s names. They greeted each other in the hallways and high-fived over home runs and scored goals. They commiserated over losses and shared stories of “When I was a kid…”. Family Sundays were no longer an exercise in tolerating the presence of kids; instead, kids were invited to sit with their cheerleaders and their biggest fans -the older members of their church.

The result? Relationships.

The bigger result? Everyday discipleship in the context of community.

This is what ReFocus is all about. Our mission statement says we exist to “connect generations at church and at home.”  But that is not the end goal. The end goal is to create a community characterized by relationships centered around Christ for the glory of God.

We can dissect all the reasons that young people are leaving the church until we are blue in the face. Or we can begin to build relationships and community right now that will ensure deep roots and faith formation that lasts a lifetime.

As we move into the new year, let’s reimagine what church together can look like. Let’s identify the barriers that keep us apart and inhibit generational discipleship and let’s embrace the beautiful invitation to worship and work as a community of faith, all ages, all stages, as one body.

An Invitation to Join the Mission of ReFocus

In November, we announced that ReFocus was beginning the journey to become a full-fledged nonprofit. As we work to take ReFocus from an individual operation to one that can make a bigger impact in our faith communities, we are beginning the work of funding the ministry.

To that end, we invite you to be a part of our initial fundraising campaign. In our initial phase, we are hoping to raise $10,000.00 which will be used to create the foundation and infrastructure needed to begin expanding the reach and ministry of ReFocus. These monies will go directly to creating the means by which to allow ReFocus to create more resources, materials, and trainings for churches as well as begin to put the pieces in place to add additional speakers, trainers, and ministers to our staff. We have already raised $6,000 towards our inital goal!

There are two main ways to give:

  1. Through our website: www.refocusministry.org (Click the Donate button). This will allow you to set up a one-time donation or a monthly gift.
  2. Personal Check:  ReFocus Ministry c/o Christina Embree, 3518 Ramsgate Ct. Lexington KY 40503

Note: Since we have not yet received our tax-exempt status due to paperwork delays at the federal level, these initial gifts will not be tax deductible.

At ReFocus, we believe if we really want to see our church families grow and our younger generations stay faithful to Jesus, we are going to have to find ways to come together, in community, and be the church across generations.

To learn more about ReFocus and what we can do for you and your faith community, fill out the contact form below!

For more information about…

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this Blog

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. She also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ.

With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed.

The Sacred Space of Story

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Last week, I was privileged to accompany some youth on a local mission trip in and around Lexington, Kentucky. On Friday night of our youth mission trip, we offered our youth and leader participants the chance to tell their story. You see, our theme for the trip was “How Far I’ve Come” and we listened to those we serve share their story of how they ended up where they were in their story and how God showed up in their own journeys. It seemed right to offer our youth the same opportunity.

We offered space to let each one, as they desired, tell their story as we’ve heard others do. And they did. Some with tears. Some with relief. Some with reluctance. Some with hope. Some with all of those wrapped up in one.

But you know what was so incredibly special to me in those moments, something that has stuck with me since that night? After each person told their story and ended with saying, “And that’s my story,” the rest of the group immediately responded with “Thank you” and clapped for them. Think about that for a moment.

These youth recognized that they had been invited into a sacred space, into a personal life journey, into an individual’s story and their natural response was to say, “Thank you.” Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey. Thank you for letting me into this sacred space. Thank you for showing that kind of love, the kind of love that would lay down one’s life (one’s fears, one’s hurts, one’s hopes) for another by opening up and offering a way in. It was by far one of the most moving moments for me, watching these young people and their leaders express gratitude for the opportunity to listen. They recognized the courage, the bravery, and the humility it took each one to share.

Storytelling is part of the human experience.  Before we had written text, traditions and faith were passed down orally through the generations in the form of story.. In a book called Family: The Forming Center, Marjorie Thompson says that we can connect our faith through story with the use of three forms of story.

  • Personal stories are about us, things that happened to us in our lifetime.  My kids absolutely love it when my husband and I share stories about “when we were kids.”  These stories are even more powerful when we connect them to how God has been real in our lives.
  • Ancestral stories about generations before us.  The Bible says we are “surrounded by a great cloud of witness,” heroes of the faith that have gone before us and left us a legacy in the form of lives lived and lives given for Christ.  I’ll never forget the first time my mom gave me a book by Corrie Ten Boom and I read about the powerful life lived by this Holocaust survivor who loved others and God so much she literally impacted millions of lives.  In fact, her impact on my life continues to this day.
  • Biblical stories about the characters in God’s Word. In the superhero-saturated environment kids are growing up in, why not help your kids explore the men and women of God in the pages of the Bible?  These faithful witnesses were far from perfect and yet God used them to change the world and even change our lives.

Why the emphasis on story?

Well, if we want to step back and look at the Bible broadly, to examine what Dr. Scottie May of Wheaton calls the “metanarrative” of Scripture, we are going to see a grand and beautiful rescue story . For kids, I use just 4 symbols to tell the story. The first symbol is a red heart, second is a black lightening bold, third is a brown cross, and finally another red heart. From that emerges this simple but beautiful story:

We had a perfect love relationship with God, sin separated us from the love and God used the cross and the sacrifice of His son to bring about a perfect love relationship with him again if we so desire.

I know that we debate the details of this story and we create denominations based on interpretations and translations and alliterations BUT this metanarrative is THE STORY that encompasses the Bible and this is the story we need to connect our kids to in meaningful everyday ways.

It’s not enough that kids know God is love; they must know that love is active and drawing them to Him in everyday, normal life because that is where faith and action live together.

The beautiful thing about story is that story invites us to be an active participant in what is happening. We are welcomed into a space and offered the chance to interact with someone on a deeply personal level. That’s what God does for us. And as those who desire to share the love of God with generations who have come before us and after us, that’s what we need to do for them.

Here are a few ways your faith community might consider creating space for generations to connect around story.

  • Legacy Videos: Take some time to sit down with older members of your church and ask them to record their story. It can be about a specific topic, a favorite memory, a general testimony – whatever is appropriate to your context. Then share those videos or clips of those videos with the younger generations or the congregation. Allow the stories to be heard.

  • Story Wall: Using a hallway in your church, choose a theme like “I experienced God’s love when…” and provide space for people to write/draw and post their stories and hang them up. Once you’re done, collect the stories in a small booklet and give them out at Christmas to your church family. If you did this once a quarter, you could have a beautiful collection of faith forming stories to share.

  • Progressive Dinner: This can be done one of two ways. First, you could host the whole dinner at your church and have people move to different tables or rooms with different host storytellers for each course (appetizer, entree, dessert) OR you could literally move an entire group from one home to another to hear stories and share a meal. Depending on the size and developmental needs of your church, you could come up with other variations. Key ingredients: A meal to share and stories to tell.

  • “One Time I…”: Have you ever noticed that kids LOVE to start their stories this way? Offer families the prompt of “One Time I…” and create space for parents and kids to tell their stories at home. This is a great family night activity, dinner table conversation starter, or car ride discussion. If parents are willing, create a place for them to text or post the stories their families tell and collect them to create a gift for that family at some point in the future.

Looking for a way to help parents capture those discipleship moments at home?

ReFocus Ministry is excited to offer “Everyday Discipleship: A Workshop for Parents/Caregivers.” 

This one-hour workshop covers an unlimited number of parents from your church to join us for a seminar including an Everyday Discipleship worksheet and follow-up resources for parents/caregivers focused on helping support and equip parents for faith formation in their homes.

This workshop has been widely attended by both ministers and parents alike with positive feedback on how it changed their perspective on discipleship in the home and got them excited about sharing their faith with their kids.

This webinar uses a Zoom format and is set up with an individualized code for your church only. All resources will be emailed prior to the webinar so you can distribute to parents with your regular communication.

Interested in learning more?

Fill out the form below with the Message: Everyday Discipleship and we will be in touch!

For more information about…

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About ReFocus

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree who serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ. She is also wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and pastor at Plowshares BIC.

With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She holds a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry and is completing a Doctorate of Ministry in Spiritual Formation at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed.

The advertisements on this page are chose by the web host and do not necessarily reflect the views of ReFocus Ministry.

The Mosaic Challenge

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“I tie my shoe using the bunny ears method because that is how my grandfather did it and I learned from him. I always get a Venti Americano with soy milk at Starbucks because on my first visit to Starbucks, the person I went with ordered that and I did the same and it became my go-to. I put milk in my eggs when I scramble them because mom said it makes it fluffier and I always knock three times on doors because my dad did that when he was a salesman and brought me along on his calls.”

This is the Mosiac Challenge that is currently making its way around TikTok. The premise? “Everyone is a #Mosaic of the people around them, so tell us where you come from.” It’s well worth a few minutes of your time to listen to some of the stories and the beauty of the community that makes up each person.

And while this is trending on this social media platform right now, it should come as no surprise to those of us that ascribe to the belief that each person, each human being, is created in the image of God, the Triune God, the ultimate mosaic and picture of community.

I have long been captured by the idea that each person is really a small community. Dennis Kinlaw, a respected theologian, once wrote, “The fact that people come in families is clearly an aspect of what it means for us to be made in the image of God. Every person we have ever met, or will ever meet, has parents. When you see one, you know that there are, or were, two more, and if you find the two, you know that there are, or were, four more” (Source). In other words, it takes two to make you. We are each inextricably connected in community from the day we were formed, both reflecting the communion of two human being and the community of the image of God.

We are Mosaics.

This has so many implications for how we live, learn, and grow. And, just like the statements above that reveal the influence people have on our actions and preferences, the influences of our community shape our faith and reflect our beliefs.

In her book, Almost Christian, Kenda Creasy Dean states in her book, ““Adults need spiritual apprenticeships as much as their children do—and adults need them first. Group spiritual direction, covenant groups, practice in oral prayer, lay leadership in worship, singing hymns and praise songs—and of course, the formal practice of testimony itself—are congregational practices that give adults, and not just teenagers, opportunities to put faith into words.” In other words, this whole idea of generational discipleship is not limited to childhood, but it most certainly should encompass children and youth along with all other ages.

If I were to offer a Faith Mosaic Challenge, it would look like this:

“When my kids go to school, I pray for them each morning because my mom used to always pray for me. When I want to look up a word in the Bible, I often still pull out a concordance even though I could use the internet because I was always fascinated when my dad would pull his out when working on a teaching. I love the hymn ‘In the Garden’ because it was my Grandma’s favorite and always reminds me of her. In the evenings, as I fall asleep, I tend to use the Ignatian Examen and prayerfully review my day, because one of my seminary professors shared his own end-of-day practice with me. I do my best praying when I’m walking or cooking or cleaning because a mentor told me that she connected with God best when her hands were busy but her mind could focus on God. I am a Christian because of the many people who poured into my life as I was growing up and pointed me to Jesus.”

This is what generational discipleship is all about. It’s the passing of our faith from one generation to another. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Our faith doesn’t accidentally get passed on by way of a good book or a great worship song. Our faith is passed from one generation to another. It is passed in relational community.

Discipleship isn’t about downloading information from one person to another. It’s not even about learning more about the Bible or Jesus or our faith. Discipleship will always be about following Jesus and that is done, not as lone rangers, but in the community of believers, the body of Christ, the Church. The final outcome of these times of meaningful connections will be churches and homes that function in unity and community in mentoring and discipling the next generation.

I’d love to hear your Mosaic Story; who has poured into you and what has shaped you to be the believer you are today? And how are you pouring into and helping to shape others? We are all mosaics, every single one, and that is part of the beauty of humanity and the kingdom of God.

It’s Time To ReFocus

Are you interested in moving your church from a traditional, age-segregated into a more family-focused, intergenerational focus, connecting the home and the church?  

Refocus Ministry would be happy to begin a conversation with your team and church about the how your church can grow in serving the families of your church and community and connecting your faith community in relationship with each other.  

Ongoing coaching through various means is also available as your church continues the transition including weekly emails, monthly on-line trainings, and continued conversations. In addition to one-on-one coaching calls and follow-up resources, the following large-group presentations can be made available to your team, pastoral staff, or congregation.

Options to choose from for these presentations include:

  1. Presenting on a Sunday morning to your worship service(s)
  2. A parent webinar on Everyday Discipleship and partnering with the church community
  3. A presentation on Connecting Generations (importance, need, Biblical foundation) for your leadership team
  4. A training on a specific area of ministry such as Family VBS, Partnering with Parents, Equipping Volunteers, Creating an Intergenerational Culture for your ministry or leadership team.
  5. OTHER – We will work to create a presentation that best suits your community’s needs

Use the contact form below to receive a customized quote for your congregations needs. We look forward to journeying with you to make Psalm 145, one generation to another, part of our church’s DNA.

For more information about…

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this Blo

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. She also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ.

With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She holds a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry and is completing a Doctorate of Ministry in Spiritual Formation at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed.

The advertisements on this page are chose by the web host and do not necessarily reflect the views of ReFocus Ministry.

Remember, The Kids Are Watching

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It hasn’t happened yet, but I know it will soon. I’ve already been Facebook “stalked”, Instagram-investigated, and Iphone-snooped by my teenagers. It’s only a matter of time before they put my name into Google to see what pops up.

What will they find?  

Will they find the same person who they knew as “mom”, the person who has nurtured them and instructed them, disciplined them and discipled them, laughed with them and corrected them…or will they find something that confuses them?

Will they find consistency between what I tell them and what I tell others?

Will my words in the online world match my words in our conversations at home and with them?

For instance, I tell them to love God and love others.  Will that be evident in my online profile?  I tell them to be kind and to consider others more highly than herself.  Will my words reflect that type of heart?

I tell them to always seek to good, to defend the poor, to love the hurting, to stand up for the weak, to befriend the friendless.

I tell them that calling people names, making fun of others, criticism and ridicule, treating people as “other” and showing people disrespect are all, for lack of a better term, the actions of a bully and not how we are to live or act in this world.

I tell them that God loves them, has a plan for them, has a plan for us…for this whole world. That He is God. He is good. He is sovereign. He is our hope. 

And I have to consider, “When she googles me one day, will she find my social media self, my written words, are consistent with these things I am teaching her as truth, as right, as good?”

Friends, we are in the middle of some very difficult weeks in this country.

Behind us lies an election like no other we have ever seen. Passion in so many areas runs deep and runs wide. And words, often written on various social media platforms, are where those passions are often loosed and proclaimed.

May I humbly encourage us, all of us, no matter where our passions lie, to intentionally consider before we post, that one day our children will google our name? 

To ponder, “Is what I am about to post online in line with what I am teaching my children about loving God and loving others?”

To pause and wonder, “Am I using this post to build up or to tear down?  To call people names, make fun of them in any way, ridicule or poke fun, or belittle them as a person?”

To think, “If my child said this to another child, would that be okay or would they be in trouble?”

One day, our children will google us.

Let’s make sure that what they find shows them a faith that doesn’t waver with elections or compromise in fear.

Let’s strive to post our passions in a way that honors the fact that each person who reads them is made in the image of God, is loved and beloved of God, and is worthy of respect because of that simple fact.

We owe it to our children to give them a consistent message of who God is and who we are no matter when or where they hear/see our words. 

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me (Paul), what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. Philippians 4:8,9 (The Message)

Parents, are you looking for a way to engage with your kids in everyday discipleship at home?

ReFocus Ministry is excited to offer “Everyday Discipleship: A Workshop for Parents/Caregivers.” 

This one-hour workshop covers an unlimited number of parents from your church to join us for a seminar including an Everyday Discipleship worksheet and follow-up resources for parents/caregivers focused on helping support and equip parents for faith formation in their homes.

This workshop has been widely attended by both ministers and parents alike with positive feedback on how it changed their perspective on discipleship in the home and got them excited about sharing their faith with their kids.

This webinar uses a Zoom format and is set up with an individualized code for your church only. All resources will be emailed prior to the webinar so you can distribute to parents with your regular communication.

Interested in learning more?

Fill out the form below with the Message: Everyday Discipleship and we will be in touch!

For More Information About…

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this Blog

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. She also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ.

With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed.

Remember, The Kids Are Watching

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It hasn’t happened yet, but I know it will soon. I’ve already been Facebook “stalked”, Instagram-investigated, and Iphone-snooped by my teenagers. It’s only a matter of time before they put my name into Google to see what pops up.

What will they find?  

Will they find the same person who they knew as “mom”, the person who has nurtured them and instructed them, disciplined them and discipled them, laughed with them and corrected them…or will they find something that confuses them?

Will they find consistency between what I tell them and what I tell others?

Will my words in the online world match my words in our conversations at home and with them?

For instance, I tell them to love God and love others.  Will that be evident in my online profile?  I tell them to be kind and to consider others more highly than herself.  Will my words reflect that type of heart?

I tell them to always seek to good, to defend the poor, to love the hurting, to stand up for the weak, to befriend the friendless.

I tell them that calling people names, making fun of others, criticism and ridicule, treating people as “other” and showing people disrespect are all, for lack of a better term, the actions of a bully and not how we are to live or act in this world.

I tell them that God loves them, has a plan for them, has a plan for us…for this whole world. That He is God. He is good. He is sovereign. He is our hope. 

And I have to consider, “When she googles me one day, will she find my social media self, my written words, are consistent with these things I am teaching her as truth, as right, as good?”

Friends, we are in the middle of some very difficult weeks in this country.

Behind us lies an election like no other we have ever seen. Passion in so many areas runs deep and runs wide. And words, often written on various social media platforms, are where those passions are often loosed and proclaimed.

May I humbly encourage us, all of us, no matter where our passions lie, to intentionally consider before we post, that one day our children will google our name? 

To ponder, “Is what I am about to post online in line with what I am teaching my children about loving God and loving others?”

To pause and wonder, “Am I using this post to build up or to tear down?  To call people names, make fun of them in any way, ridicule or poke fun, or belittle them as a person?”

To think, “If my child said this to another child, would that be okay or would they be in trouble?”

One day, our children will google us.

Let’s make sure that what they find shows them a faith that doesn’t waver with elections or compromise in fear.

Let’s strive to post our passions in a way that honors the fact that each person who reads them is made in the image of God, is loved and beloved of God, and is worthy of respect because of that simple fact.

We owe it to our children to give them a consistent message of who God is and who we are no matter when or where they hear/see our words. 

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me (Paul), what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. Philippians 4:8,9 (The Message)

Parents, are you looking for a way to engage with your kids in everyday discipleship at home?

ReFocus Ministry is excited to offer “Everyday Discipleship: A Workshop for Parents/Caregivers.” 

This one-hour workshop covers an unlimited number of parents from your church to join us for a seminar including an Everyday Discipleship worksheet and follow-up resources for parents/caregivers focused on helping support and equip parents for faith formation in their homes.

This workshop has been widely attended by both ministers and parents alike with positive feedback on how it changed their perspective on discipleship in the home and got them excited about sharing their faith with their kids.

This webinar uses a Zoom format and is set up with an individualized code for your church only. All resources will be emailed prior to the webinar so you can distribute to parents with your regular communication.

Interested in learning more?

Fill out the form below with the Message: Everyday Discipleship and we will be in touch!

For More Information About…

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this Blog

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. She also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ.

With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed.