I am not Josh Duggar.
And I think it is important that my kids know that.
This week a blog entitled “I am Josh Duggar” surfaced and made its rounds on social media where the author shares that before we judge Josh Duggar so harshly, we would be wise to consider that “we are ALL sinners. We forget that we ALL fall short of the glory of God. We ALL need a savior, that’s why Jesus came.”
I absolutely agree.
She also challenges the church “to be more open about those ‘super bad sins’ that we struggle with.” And she encourages us to confess our sins that we keep hidden in the deepest, darkest places and to stop acting like we are perfect.
And I’m not necessarily opposed to that.
But here’s my concern.
The reality is… many believers do not struggle with “super bad sins.” Many of us are not cheating on our spouse, lying to the world, acting as the self-described biggest hypocrite, and addicted to sexual sin. Many of us aren’t hiding big dark sins from anyone. And many of us who do struggle are in loving discipleship relationships with other trusted members of the body of Christ who are holding them accountable for what they do.
How do I know this?
Because I see it all around me, every day. I’ve worked in churches. I’m around ministers all the time. I hear about the struggles. And while I would never say these hidden sins don’t exist, because they most certainly do, I would say that for many those sins aren’t the issue.
It’s the other ones.
The ones we “don’t count” that get overlooked and underplayed. It’s the ones that don’t make headlines or cause shock and dismay.
It’s the things like gossip, and anger, and gluttony, and selfishness, and pride, and deceitfulness.
It’s the choice to put work over family, to put sports above God, to put self before others; the things that happen and we just shrug our shoulders and move on because really, it’s no big deal.
And I can’t help but wonder, what message are we sending to our kids? That only the big sins count? Only the ones that are so bad you keep them hidden? Only the ones that cause the most revulsion and criticism in society?
I think it is so important for my kids to know that I am not Josh Dugger…I have not engaged in those “super bad sins.”
I have not done the things that he has done.
I still need a Savior.
I still need grace.
I still need discipleship and commitment and I still need believers that I can confess to when I yell at my kids or have a fight with my husband or act selfishly or eat recklessly. Not because these things are hidden sins, but because they are sins that separate me from God and hinder my relationship with my Savior.
It is okay to be a broken sinner; it is not okay to hide our sin and lead a double life. At the end of the day, sin is not about being wrong; it’s about breaking relationships, with God and others.
My kids need to know that the little sins count. Because they are just as effective at leading us away from Christ and the church and one another as the big sins are, but they are a lot more sneaky.
Like the blogger above, I also think the church needs to be more open about sin, but I don’t think it needs to be the super-bad sins; in fact, I think we major on those a bit too much. I think we need to be honest and vulnerable about the not-so-bad sins that sneak in and wander freely, sometimes with our approval.
Whatever we do, we must remember, little eyes are watching us and learning from us. If our reactions of sorrow and sadness only manifest towards these larger sin areas, then yes, they will keep those hidden from us because those are “really bad.”
But if we walk in humility with all sin, acknowledging to them that we shouldn’t have yelled like that, exaggerated like that, reacted like that, and acted like that, then hopefully they will learn that all sin needs our confession and God’s grace.
I am not Josh Duggar. I am Christina Embree.
And I need Jesus… every day.
Join the conversation on Facebook at ReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry.
About the author
Christina Embree is wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and family minister at Nicholasville UMC. She is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. Currently studying Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at ChildrensMinistryBlog.com, Seedbed, and D6 Family.