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Don’t Post That! How Fake News impacts Generational Discipleship

/ Christina Embree / 1 Comment

The term “generation gap” is a pretty common one: it refers the perceived differences between generations. In the past, I have emphasized the word “perceived” when talking about age segregation in society and the church.  But lately an important real, not perceived, difference has taken on a great deal of importance in society. This is a difference based on one’s understanding and grasp of social media, how it works, and how to engage with it properly.

With the current global pandemic and social unrest, more and more people are turning to social media as a platform for debate, protests, reform, and politics. And there are some inherent dangers in that, especially when misinformation is viral.

Research has been been done that indicates, despite society’s natural bent to believe that younger generations are more emotionally-driven and less discerning, it is actually the older generations that are most likely to spread false information such as hoaxes, disinformation, and incomplete news stories over social media (Source).

Studies have shown that “On average, users over 65 shared nearly seven times as many articles from fake news domains as the youngest age group (Source). That’s a huge number!

To break that down by percentages, this study from Princeton and New York University found that eleven percent of users older than 65 shared an article consistent with the study’s definition of fake news. Just 3% of users ages 18 to 29 did the same.

This is in spite of the fact that over 90% of young adults ages 18-29 are active on social media as compared to only 35% of older Americans, 65 years of age and older (Source)

The above is just one example of why age segregation is a concern. We could blame this situation on politics or lack of understanding of social media or any number of factors. But for our purposes, let’s look at phenomena through the lens of age segregation.

A vast difference exists in the types of media that each generation uses. For instance, it is reported that 72% of 13-17 year olds and 64% of 18-29 year olds use Instagram while only 21% of 50-64 year olds and 10% of 65+ year olds use Instagram (Source).

Another 2015 study estimates that of 271,000,000 Twitter users who are active every month the number of users between 51 and 60 years was roughly 2,981,000 or about 1% of the users (Source).

The gap between generations is being exacerbated by social media platforms. This is a pattern that the Church needs to be aware of. Why? Because it impacts how the generations interact with each other in our faith community.

The younger generation, the one who grew up with social media, is more adept at recognizing misinformation and less likely to share it.

The older generation, who grew up with print media and a trust of written communication, photographs, and testimony, is more susceptible to publishing and defending misinformation as truth.

These two things immediately put these generations at odds with one another: The younger losing respect for the older generation and the older generation believing the younger generation is not listening.

When we add to that the curation of different social media platforms between generations, the gap widens even further. In a very real sense, these generations are now speaking different languages; they talk past each other and cannot hear one another. The same true story now has two different narratives and disagreement plays out politically, socially, and relationally.

Church, we must be the bridge-builders. Through the truth of God’s word, we can open the door for real relationships to be forged upon shared foundations. So how can we invite this conversation in a place of such division?

  • Create Space for Mutual Learning – If our generations never have the opportunity to both learn from and teach each other, how can we expect them to hear one another? Church is a perfect place to create space for generations to come together around common mission and vision and listen to one another as they learn together.
  • Create Space for Generational Teaching – What can your church do to help one generation teach another generation? Discipleship and mentorship programs are more common in churches but get creative! I’ve seen churches that have made videos with stories from the older generation about tough times and how God got them through that have been a huge encouragement to the younger generation. I’ve heard of other churches let the youth and young adults host a technology party where they help the older people experience new tech. Let’s use our imagination to find these spaces.
  • Create Space for Healthy Discussion – There are difficult topics facing our world today. All generations need a safe place to ask hard questions. The church should be that space, but too often, we discourage questions, doubts and inquiries and force especially our young people to find answers elsewhere. Churches that encourage healthy discussion and the reading of Scripture in community create a culture that unites rather than divides. As one of my pastoral heroes has said, “We talk more about the things that divide us, not less.” Have the hard conversations because that indicates deepening relationships.

Sometimes I’ve noticed that churches likes to take a back seat on these types of issues and say, “That’s not really a spiritual or religious thing. We’ll reserve our voice and influence for other concerns.” But I would beg to differ. All of life, as a believer, is spiritual. We declare that we have been raised to new life in Christ which means everything we do, including posting on social media, should be done in that light.

Churches have a unique opportunity to enter this space around the common belief Jesus Christ and offer a space for mutual edification and humble growth to happen. Rather than shy away, we should “talk more, not less” as my friend said. Equip parents for conversations around dinner table. Encourage connection across generations. Create the spaces. It is all part of our calling to “make disciples.”

For more information about

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this Blog
The Embree Family

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. She also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ.

With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed.

*The advertisements on this page are chosen by WordPress, not by ReFocus Ministry, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the author.

Intergenerational Community for Children and Families

/ Christina Embree / Leave a comment

This week I had the chance to join with around 400 people via Zoom at Intergenerate Australia. It was a phenomenal time of growing and learning with people all over the world and I’m so grateful for what was shared there. A few people have asked for slides from my presentation so I thought I’d do a recap here along with sources/resources used so we can keep the conversation going!

Intergenerational Community… what exactly does that mean?

When we talk about certain things, like community, we bring to the conversation all the defining characteristics of that thing that we’ve gained over our years. Martin Minsky calls these words “suitcase words“; words that need unpacked because they carry a lot of meaning.

For example the word, “Community” means different things to different people. Because I am in the process of reading Living into Community: Cultivating Practices that Sustain Us by Christine Pohl, I now include the practices of gratitude, promise-keeping, truth-telling and hospitality in my definition of community. But people who haven’t read this book may not have all of those meanings in their “suitcase.”

It’s important to define what you are talking about before you starting talking about it so, for this blog post, the term “intergenerational community” will be defined as:

A gathered group of multiple generations in meaningful relationships with one another where all have the opportunity to teach and to learn from others.”

Now that’s not to say this definition is the “right” definition or the “only” definition; it’s just the one we are going to use for the purpose of this post.

When sociologists talk about groups that gather together in community, they often talk about primary groups (more intimate, face-to-face, long-term) and secondary groups (impersonal, task-focused, time-limited). Our goal in establishing intergenerational community is for the church to be a primary group not a secondary one. Our gathering can’t just be to fulfill the tasks involved in having a Sunday morning service, limited to an hour, and segregated by age. If our faith community is to be a primary group which wields the most influence, we need to be together in the same space, face-to-face, in meaningful ways.

To explore the importance of this for children, click here. For parents, click here.

When we talk about a space being intergenerational, we want that place to be representative of the generations that are in our community. That doesn’t mean every generation will be present at every event. But that also doesn’t mean the majority of the people present will be one generation with a single representative of another (think Sunday School classroom).

A good rule of thumb: When thinking about intergenerational community, think “Past, Present, Future.” Three generations – one who represents the past (older generation), one who represents the present (middle generation), and one who represents the future (youngest generation).

There has been much research done on the importance of intergenerational relationships for all generations. For more on this for children, click here and for families/parents, click here.

It is not enough to simply gather multiple generations into a space and call it community. There must be the cultivation of meaningful relationships, a deeper meeting of spirits and a connecting to one another’s humanity. This can often be done in very practical and simple ways if we are willing to get creative.

Resist the urge to “programmatize” relationship. That never works out well. Instead, find ways to provide opportunities both in the church building and outside of the church building for meaningful relationships to form. There are some ideas listed above on the slide and below are some links for further exploration.

The final part of creating an intergenerational community for children and families is to provide a space for all generations to be both teacher and student. If a church finds that it is consistently having only one generation act as the “teaching” generation and all others are in learning mode, lifelong learning is unlikely to be fostered. Each generation has unique gifts and worldviews to add to the conversation. Strive to find space for each to teach and each to learn.

Each of these elements (gathered community, multiple generations, meaningful relationships, learning/teaching) taken singularly leaves an important part of intergenerational community out. If a church nails gathered community but doesn’t foster meaningful relationships, the next generation has very little to bring them back when they are older. If a church knocks teaching and learning out fo the park but limits generational involvement, then community will suffer from a lack of full participation.

Taken together however, these pieces of the puzzle can help lead to a rich and growing intergenerational community that extends beyond Sunday morning and into everyday life. And that is the key to true community; it has to be more than an event – it needs to be who we are, the church, the body of Christ.

(For those of you looking for the chart used during breakout discussion groups, go here)

For more information about

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this Blog
The Embree Family

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. She also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ.

With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed

*The advertisements on this page are chosen by WordPress, not by ReFocus Ministry, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the author.

The Generation Game (and how to play)

/ Christina Embree / 2 Comments

My oldest daughter recently (jokingly!) said to me, “Okay Boomer…” when I was doing what she considered to be an “old person” thing (taking a selfie the wrong way…who knew?). I gave her my sternest “mom” glare and said, “Just to be clear, I’m not a Boomer, ‘kay? I am an X-er.” Her amused glance back at me had a “Whatever…” feel to it, but it did lead her to ask the question, “Who came up with the generations anyway?”

Now that’s a great question! Just where did the rules of the Generation Game originate? And how do they apply to intergenerational ministry in the Church?

Let’s start with the latter; What is intergenerational ministry?

Sometimes it is easier to describe what something is by exploring what it is not. Many people associate this term with children’s ministry or family ministry within the church. While those ministries may be partners in intergenerational ministry, the scope of these ministries are not broad enough. Intergenerational ministry encompasses the whole church, all generations, in a communal and corporate context.

Intergenerational ministry is more of a cultural characteristic than it is a ministry area; it is a culture that values & creates space for meaningful connections to be made across generational boundaries in a variety of settings for the purpose of generational discipleship.

As the term implies, intergenerational ministry is an intentional approach to ministry that both allows for and encourages interaction between multiple generations in such ways as corporate worship, relational mentorship and lifelong community.

In order for a church to recognize the need for this generational connectivity within their faith community, the following question must be answered: What does each generation need from the church and what can each generation contribute to the church?

So, we have to ask, where did the generational labels originate?

Generational theory, the grouping of individuals into particular social groups with a shared identity predicated on the year of their birth and life experiences, began in the early 20th century and gained steam in the mid to late 20th century. Why? Marketing firms began to explore how to best market to specific groups, coining nicknames for them in order to create a collective conscious. In other words, they wanted to sell us stuff that they thought we wanted to buy.

Currently, the most likely generations that would be found in a given faith community would be the Silent Generation (born 1924-1942), Baby Boomers (1943-1964), Generation X (1965-1980), Millennials (1981-2000), and Gen Z (2001-current). These five generations offer unique experiences in both spiritual and communal practices for the church (see chart below). And that is how the generations fit into intergenerational ministry.

  • The older generations bring a wealth of faithful testimonies, historical worship practices, and community-sustaining disciplines.
  • The middle generations offer a bridge between past experience and current ones through experience with a vast array of communication tools from rotary phones to high-speed internet conferencing and the latest social media trends.
  • The youngest generation offer the heartbeat of current culture and the application of spiritual truths in a dynamic cultural environment.

Likewise, each generation brings its unique needs to the church. The chart below uses Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial stages to outline these needs in a church setting.

  • The older generations need to be needed; the desire for generativity and legacy-leaving are uniquely found in these generations and to be left isolated from those to whom their legacy can be left (the younger generations) is stifling and leads to stagnation.
  • The middle generations are those seeking intimacy in deeper relationships with others, such as mentorship and discipleship, but if those opportunities are found lacking, will retreat into a placed of isolation.
  • The youngest generations are looking for a place to be industrious (an important part of the community) and find identity (a role to play in the community); thus faith communities need to be intentional not just with providing safe and fun environments like Kid’s Church and youth group but integral participatory environments that allow for identity and industry to be rooted in the church.
Graph of Generations, their gifts, and their needs within a local church.
Generational delineations derived from https://www.cnn.com/2013/11/06/us/baby-boomer-generation-fast-facts/index.html
Erikson’s stages derived from https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html

What does this all mean?

Simply this: As ministers in the local church, as members of the larger Body of Christ, we need to be aware that in our churches are multiple generations that bring multiple gifts and have multiple needs. Many of the ways to engage cannot be “programed” into the church experience but require us to creatively find space to relationships to be cultured and meaningful communication to take place. For ideas on how this can start to become a reality in your faith community, check out the links below.

There is a richness to be found in connecting the generations; let’s discover it together. Okay Boomer? 😉

If you’d like to explore some practical ways to begin making space for intergenerational worship experiences, click here.

Looking for practical ideas on how to (painlessly) connect the generations in your church? Click here.

Want to dig into what the Bible has to say about connecting generations in discipleship, community and worship? Here are a few links to check out:

A version of this article by the same author will appear in the Brethren in Christ Shalom! journal this summer.

For more information about

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this Blog
The Embree Family

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. She also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ.

With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed

*The advertisements on this page are chosen by WordPress, not by ReFocus Ministry, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the author.

No, You Are Not Having Intergenerational Worship on Sunday

/ Christina Embree / 2 Comments

When the “stay-at-home, school-cancelled” executive orders began to spread across the United States, a lot of social media posts began circulating that parents of school-aged children would now all be homeschoolers. Since I am friends with a number of people who homeschool, I immediately began to hear from them that this thing that most people were now doing (Zoom class, online work, turning work into a teacher in a different location, navigating new technology, etc.) was most definitely NOT homeschooling.

It didn’t take long for new social media posts to begin circulating that said, “You are not homeschooling; you are schooling at home in crisis.” Within a few weeks, distinction having been made, people began to accept that the experience of homeschooling and the experience they were currently facing were not one and the same.

Enter “Church Re-Opening.”

In many states, churches are beginning to re-open their doors, albeit with a number of cautions and restrictions. One major thread that appears similar across the board is that children’s ministries are delaying their opening even longer which means children will be joining their parents in corporate worship (or “big church”, a name that is a personal pet peeve of mine but generally understood in church circles).

Church People Believe Faith Religious

I’ve seen multiple helpful posts regarding how to help children to engage in the worship service or, at the very least, keep them engaged so that others can worship. Ideas, very many of them similar to ones I’ve shared here for years, are floating about and people are trying, some for the very first time.

This has the potential to be an incredible boon for connecting generations and creating space for corporate worship across America.

My concern however is that it will have exactly the opposite affect. 

You see, first and foremost, intergenerational ministry is not about putting people of multiple generations in a communal space where worship, prayer, and/or teaching takes place. That might be what happens BUT that is not the heart of intergenerational ministry.

True intergenerational ministry is a culture which strives to create environments that foster generational mentorship, intergenerational relationships, and multi-generational experiences that focus on welcome, belonging, and discipleship.

It’s not about putting people in the same space and making sure that everyone can somehow make it through an hour together and hopefully not distract one another too much. That’s online schooling in a crisis. It’s a current reality that we have not chosen but that has been thrust upon us and we are dong our very best to work with.

Intergenerational ministry is something that needs time and cultivation. In churches that are strongly separated along generational lines, the introduction of intergenerational worship, study, and prayer is something that should be entered into circumspectly with care given to community needs and corporate identity. Like homeschooling households, there is no cookie-cutter method for intergenerational ministry. Each faith community has particular needs and considerations that must be addressed as intergenerational culture is lived into.

The danger that exists with creating a few busy bags, printing out sermon sheets, making coloring pages available, and the like, isn’t that those things are inherently unhelpful (I actually recommend them in certain contexts); it’s that those things do not an intergenerational worship service make.

My encouragement to those of you dipping your toes in the waters of corporate worship for perhaps the first time is to take the next few Sundays in stride.

You might find that your faith community is ready to begin exploring ways to connect the generations in corporate worship, learning, and serving settings. GREAT!  I would be happy to point you in the direct of some fantastic resources.

You might find that your faith community is not ready to engage in fully-integrated worship and learning settings for all ages. That’s fine too. Forcing a square peg in a round hole doesn’t work. But, changing the shape or the culture can work and given time and community buy-in, you might find ways to begin to overlap generations and find space to allow generational discipleship and intergenerational relationships to flourish. I’d be happy to walk alongside of you as you begin to explore ways to make that happen. (A great place to start is here)

Regardless, the major takeaway of this post is simply this: What will be happening in most churches over the next several weeks, while inclusive of all generations, will not likely be true intergenerational worship or ministry. Accept it as it is –  a way to worship during a state of global crisis – and know that God’s grace is sufficient and His presence is promised wherever we gather in His Name.

For more information about

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this BlogIMG-0573

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. She also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ. With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed

*The advertisements at the bottom of this page are chosen by WordPress, not by ReFocus Ministry, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the author.

Book Review: Children & Family Ministry Handbook by Sarah Flannery

/ Christina Embree / 1 Comment

Every now and then, I have the great privilege of being asked by an author to review their book on my blog. Often the books have something to do with my area of training and ministry (children, youth, family ministry) but rarely do they deal directly with my passion, intergenerational ministry and generational discipleship.

So I was especially Sarahsbookblessed when fellow minister, Sarah Flannery, asked me to consider reviewing a chapter in her newly-released book, Children and Family Ministry Handbook, entitled “Intergenerational Ministry”. I jumped at the chance…and let’s be honest, I, of course, read the whole book because I so appreciate her voice (I also loved Chapter 7 on Milestones so I might review that one at a later date).

Sarah does a great job up front defining what she means by “intergenerational ministry” and offering several examples of what that could look like in specific congregational settings and homes.

But the key takeaway from this chapter is one that I can wholeheartedly echo: Intergenerational ministry is not a program; it is a culture, a way of doing church, that invites the entire congregation, every age, every generation, into meaningful worship and service together.

Consider these words taken from Chapter 6, page 116:

Intergenerational ministry does not fit in the context of a programmatic approach because it is too messy and too unwieldy to be programmed. Programs limit the audience in order to maximize the effectiveness for that one target group. Ministry asks us to expand the audience to include majorities and minorities, young and old, anyone and everyone.

Often, the dilemma that churches run into in creating space for intergenerational ministry is that they try to take a programmatic approach rather than a ministerial approach. They may look for a particular curriculum or a series of specific events or a special service project and, while all of those things could be good for the church, they may also be unhelpful or even detrimental depending on the congregation.

There is no cookie-cutter approach to intergenerational ministry.

The needs and gifts of each generation represented in a faith community as well as the culture and tradition of their church tradition and their local community must be considered. Which is why intergenerational ministry can be “messy” and “unwieldy.”

But take heart!  Messy and unwieldy does not mean impossible.

In fact, it means the possibilities are endless.

Within your church are gifts and graces that can be shared among the members of your congregation if space is created for them to flourish. And that is the meat of this chapter in Sarah’s book; she not only offers a guide to intergenerational worship and service that is helpful in knowing your own church, she provides multiple practical and easily implementable ideas for how to dive into intergenerational in each church context.

Her final paragraph reminds us to “Always maintain a perspective of ministry, not programs.”

That is the heart of generational discipleship.

It’s about relationship and connection.

It’s about making space for old and young and everyone in between to fill the role in the body of Christ that they have been gifted and graced for.

And it is about hospitality and community lived out in our corporate worship, mission, and service.

If you are interested in learning more about Sarah and her book, I encourage you to visit her website at sarahmflannery.com.

To put your hands on a copy of her book, check it out at Cokesbury,  Amazon or any major book retailer (pssst…free shipping with Cokesbury right now and only $12 for the book!).

 

 

For more information about

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this BlogIMG-0573

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. She also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ. With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed

*The advertisements at the bottom of this page are chosen by WordPress, not by ReFocus Ministry, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the author.

The Church Has Left The Building

/ Christina Embree / Leave a comment

I miss church. I bet you do too. And I bet that you or someone in your house has said this exact phrase over the past 6 weeks.

Theologically, we all know that “church” is not a building. We understand that “church” is the body of Christ. So more precisely, I think, when we say we miss “church”, we mean more than that. We miss the people. We miss the things we do together as people; worship and communion and conversation and prayer and hugs and food. We miss the community of faith. We miss each other and we miss the practices that renew our faith each week as we reenact the promises of Scripture through our worship and celebration.

The challenge for us as parents and ministers is to consider; how do we model authenticity and consistency as Christians safe at home while still acknowledging we are all struggling with our new reality?

Consistency in what we teach and how we live is critical to creating an atmosphere of authenticity both at home and at church. 

We are the church, when we are at home and when we are together. Who we are and how we are living should flow seamlessly between those worlds without friction or tension. What we do in one place, we should be able to just as freely do in another place and our faith should reach beyond the walls of church into the everyday life we live.

churhccomeshome

Consider these five “church” activities that we often engage in easily and freely when we gather together but can struggle to engage in our homes along with some ideas for how to simply and easily add them into our “healthy at home” life:

Worship

Every Sunday without fail, voices are raised in song in churches around the world, praising and worshiping the Lord through “songs, hymns and spiritual songs.”  Have you ever considered hosting a worship service with your family at home?  Worship through song isn’t limited only to the walls of a church, in fact Paul says we are to to always be “singing and making melody in our hearts to the Lord.” Many church services are online now and offer singing as part of their worship but if yours doesn’t, it’s perfectly fine for you to sing in your home. Easy ways to incorporate singing? Sing a song instead of praying a prayer before dinner. Teach a favorite song to your kids. Check out resources on Psalmody and pick a Psalm to learn and sing as a family.

Prayer

Whether it be a pastoral prayer or the communal recitation of the Lord’s prayer, we frequently engage in spoken prayer in a church setting; do we do the same in our homes?  The Lord’s Prayer is a great way for you to begin praying with your kids and creating that seamless flow between church and home.

Giving

In many churches, every week, the plate is passed and our tithes and offerings are given to the Lord.  But we don’t have to limit our giving to the church offering plate.  It can be hard sometimes to remember to give from a cheerful heart if we don’t see the need or if our gift is automatically withdrawn from our checking account Maybe your family could talk about ways to  support your church or a missionary or provide meals for families in need so they can be a part of the gift of giving.  The cheerful heart of giving isn’t only for church.

Bible Reading

If the only time our children see us open the Bible (or pull up the app on our phone or tablet) is in the church building, the model they see is one where the Bible is only for certain times not all of life.  But the writer of Psalms says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” This the perfect time to add some daily Scripture meditation into your family rhythm.  The Scripture is for everywhere, every day.

Fellowship

Let’s face it; a big reason for going to church is to see  friends.  I had someone tell me the only time they saw their friends was on Sunday morning.  It’s really hard for your kids to see the community and family that is the body of Christ if they only see people for 1 hour a week, 4 times a month.  Invite people over, even if only by Zoom for now, build and maintain relationships with those you miss and create space for fellowship all week long.

When our children see consistency in who we are and what we do at church and who we are and what we do at home, it will be easier for them to understand the providence of our God who is present with us in the everyday.

When we are consistent, we are authentic, and when we are authentic, we are modeling the truth of Jesus to the next generation.

For more information about

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this BlogIMG-0573

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. She also serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship with the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ. With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed

*The advertisements at the bottom of this page are chosen by WordPress, not by ReFocus Ministry, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the author.

Back to the Basics: Discipleship at Home

/ Christina Embree / Leave a comment

We’re home. I mean, a lot. I’m assuming you are to; whether you’re reading this in America or Australia or South Korea, a global pandemic means we are all spending a lot more time at a place we call home.

Being home has caused me to do some reflecting and I realized that in doing so, I found myself going “back to the basics” in regard to discipleship at home. So, I looked back through this blog and found this post from a few years back that feels very appropriate for here and now. I hope it blesses you as it did me!

The other day I had someone say to me, “I love reading your blog and I like your thoughts on discipleship in the home but I don’t even know how to get started.  I don’t think of those things like you do.  Where do I start?”

It’s a good question and one that I have heard expressed many times before.  Acknowledgment of the need for faith formation at home is often overshadowed by fears of implementation.

  • How do you “see God in the everyday”?
  • How do you begin to prepare for a “faith talk”?
  • What in the world does it mean to “speak a blessing” over your kids?

family-3370140_1920If you, or the parents you serve, have ever asked these questions or ones like them, take a second and celebrate. Why? Because asking questions like these show a heart that is already in tune with God’s heart for children and families and even if you feel completely at a loss for “what to do” chances are the very fact you feel that way probably reflects in your parenting and leadership already.

Combining that heart with intentional actions created to draw children into the “mystery” of the faith is a dynamic duo for discipleship at home.

If this is a new arena for your family or those you serve, I encourage you to start with these four small but powerful “baby steps” that begin to shift the focus of the home towards Christ.

Morning Prayer/Blessing

In Deut 6:4-9, God tells parents to “impress” His commands on the children and provides four times in which to do that. One of those times is “when you rise.”  Mornings can often be rushed, crazy times as everyone is trying to get shoes tied, hair brushed, coffee guzzled and breakfast consumed.  In the middle of it all, take just 30 seconds to stop with each child and pray a simple blessing. 

This prayer doesn’t have to be long or eloquent. In fact, simple is good; it’s easy to remember and repeat daily. Something like, “Lord, be with Grace today. May she know that you are with her, that you love her and that you have called her by name and may she return home full of joy and wisdom.”

Dinner Discussions

Another time God encourages us to engage with our kids is “when you sit.”  It’s rare to have families in a place where they all sit down together, but sometimes dinner still gives us that opportunity.  To center our conversation during those nights, our family asks four questions:  What was your high today?  What was your low? What mistake did you make?  Where did you see God today?

We have had more “teachable moments” at dinner than we could have ever imagined.  Sometimes we only get two questions in before we begin discussing something related to our faith, God, family or church.  And what’s great is that everyone, even Mom and Dad, gets to participate.

Drive Time

God tells parents to share with their kids as they “walk along the road.”  This doesn’t happen as much as it did but we do drive along the road an awful lot.  If you have to travel frequently, might I suggest downloading or purchasing some Adventures in Odessey programs from Focus on the Family?  These radio dramas provide a great platform for discussion with  kids and they will love listening to them (you will too – they’re pretty great!).  We have had many conversations with our children brought on by topics discussed in the episode and as an added bonus, the episodes all have Scriptures to go with them so you don’t have to figure it out yourself!

Older children/teens? Podcasts! There are some great podcasts out there that explore history and story. Remember, Jesus is with us everywhere and He is the greatest storyteller. Listening together to these podcasts can open up conversation that allow us, as parents, to introduce our children to a providential God who shows up all through history.

Bedtime Blessing

The final time God specifies is “when you lie down.”  Kids are fantastic stallers when it comes to bedtime.  Wouldn’t it be great if you got them at their own game and turned their stall time into a time for discussion and blessing?

For young children, check out the Jesus Storybook Bible which tells the stories of Scripture in a unique way and points out where Jesus can be found in every story.

For older kids, before they go to bed, simply ask them if anything is on their mind that they need to talk about before bed so they can sleep well.  It will shock you what they are willing to share in that safe place with you. These moments will be the last thoughts before your cherub slips off to sleep; can you think of a better sendoff?

Once these four practices become habitual for you, you will find it much easier to put Christ in the center of your family activities.  Your kids won’t think it’s “weird” when you take time to schedule a Family Faith Talk because you’ve already invited Jesus to the dinner table.  It won’t feel difficult to turn to Scripture in everyday moments because you’ve been listening to it in the car and reading it before bed.  And before you know it, your baby steps will become faith-forming strides as discipleship happens… at home.

For more information about

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this BlogIMG-0573

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed

*The advertisements at the bottom of this page are chosen by WordPress, not by ReFocus Ministry, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the author.

What Are We Missing?

/ Christina Embree / Leave a comment

“Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone?”

Admit it, you sang it. But, in all seriousness, have we ever felt this song more strongly as a society than now?  The words “I miss…” have been uttered countless times in our home this week. I miss my friends. I miss my classmates. I miss going out. I miss hanging out at the mall. I miss church. And, believe it or not, I miss school and I miss work.

My guess is that many of us are experiencing these deep feelings of loss as we miss the people and places that typically define our daily existence. And with their temporary loss, we see the impact that these place and people have on our lives and the gaps that are left when they are not there.

I can’t help but think about about the similarities between these missed opportunities and the past several years of study I’ve done into age segregation in the church.

Let me explain.

In the mid -1900s when age specific ministries were coming into focus, a lot of attention was giving to the number of children, youth, and families that were coming to church. By the late 20th century, most churches had developed age specific ministry departments focused on attracting a certain age group and/or their parents and grandparents to the church. And it was wildly effective. The rise of the youth group and the increase in children / family attendance at church did indeed go up.

message-4092821_1920But then something happened. As the youth group generation grew up, instead of remaining in the church, they began to leave the church. Yes, some of them came back with their kids, but not nearly the number that were represented in youth group (Source).

So what happened?

Perhaps in our zeal to increase our numbers in the present, we forgot to think about the future. Maybe we forgot to look at the people and places that helped define our faith and create connections to our local faith community and the larger Body of Christ.

Let’s just be honest, age integration (putting generations together) can be difficult. However, research has shown that it is not only a good and healthy thing for different generations to spend time in relationships one another, it is also one of the key factors in young people remaining in the faith after they’ve left their home of origin. And there are things we can do to help make our times of corporate worship beneficial to all.(For more on this, click here)

And, one more thing real quick..

For clarification purposes, please know that I am not opposed to quality Christ-centered, community-focused Children’s Ministry and Youth Ministry, but I do have concerns when families and churches are consistently separated from each other and never having time to fellowship together.

There is great benefit to all of us when we are given the chance to learn from, worship with, and grow together with one another.

It’s in our spiritual DNA; we were built for community by our very Creator God who exists in the perfect community of the Trinity and in whose image we are created.  When Christ called the Church, he didn’t differentiate by age. He simply called to all who believed in Him to follow Him together. We need each other, every age, every level of development, every part, in order for us to truly be “the Body of Christ.”

We have this unique time in our lives and in our churches to consider what we are missing. It might be that we find that some of the things we are missing are things that we didn’t even realize we needed.

It’s become apparent that being together really does matter.

So, when we are together again, what is that going to look like? Could it be that when we gather together again, there might be space for all of us, all ages, all generations to worship, celebrate and gather together.  We may not even realize just how much we are missing.

For more information about

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this BlogIMG-0573

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed

*The advertisements at the bottom of this page are chosen by WordPress, not by ReFocus Ministry, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the author.

 

The Beauty, Mystery and Sorrow of Easter

/ Christina Embree / Leave a comment

Two nights ago I awoke in Kentucky to the sounds of thunder, lightning and torrential downpours.  My phone was lighting up with flood alerts and I could hear what sounded like a small river in the gutter outside my window.

My first thoughts during the storm were that it was Holy Week, Good Friday was coming, and how appropriate the dark weather was to experience this week.  My heart went to Mark 15 where we read:

“At the sixth hour darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour.
And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “”Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? “”–which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last. The curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.And when the centurion, who stood there in front of Jesus, heard his cry and saw how he died, he said, “Surely this man was the Son of God!” (Mark 15:33,34.37-39)

Traditionally, the sorrow of Good Friday would be commemorated at churches all over the world with darkened services, candelight vigils, readings from Scripture that cause us to ponder anew the sacrifice made by Christ that day.

This year, it may look a little different.

This year we will try to bring that commemoration into our homes. Parents will have the primary responsibility for sharing the events of Good Friday with their children.

There is something palpable about the beauty and mystery of Good Friday.  Sometimes, it is our tendency to shield our children from these dark emotions, from the sadness and the heaviness of the crucifixion.

Don’t.

cross-1375765_1920I realize that they won’t understand it all.  I know that it could make them sad.  I understand that they are young.  But the depth of understanding goes beyond our emotions on this day.

When we allow ourselves to remember the darkness of this day, the sadness of this moment that, if we are truly honest, not one of us completely understands, we create space for God to do a deeper work that our minds can understand.

Children are young.  Cognitively they don‘t understand.  But their hearts are attuned to God’s love.  Their understanding of spiritual things goes deeper than we adults sometimes give them credit for.

Throughout Scripture, we are told that infants praise him, the faith of children is pure, little ones know him, and we should be like them.  In children, the kingdom of God is made manifest so, trust me, they may not understand the theology, but they understand the heart of God and the love that was given.sunset-476465_1280

Ever been outside when a storm rolls away and the sun breaks through? 

Does it ever shine brighter in that moment?

On Good Friday, we experience sadness.  But only for a moment.  Because on Sunday we will experience unspeakable joy.  No matter the depth of sorrow we feel on Friday, our rejoicing on Sunday will far exceed those limits.

If we want our children to truly know the JOY that is Easter, we must let them also experience the sorrow that is Good Friday.

It’s okay for them to feel.  Feel with them.  It’s okay for them to cry.  Cry with them.

BUT, cry with hope.  Feel with expectation.  And Sunday morning, before eggs and bunnies and chocolate and flowers, before dinners and tulips and fancy dresses and suits and ties, before all of that… let them experience the OVERWHELMING, LIFE-CHANGING, HEART-POUNDING Joy of crying out, “He. Is. RISEN!!” 

Rejoice!  Cry out!  Dance a little.  Celebrate with your kids in a way you never have before.  Let joy swell in your hearts and come out as shouts of praise. Let them experience all the wonder and mystery wrapped up in God’s love for us on these three days.  Don’t let it just pass by unnoticed.  Don’t let your fear of their sadness keep them from experiencing the immensity of Easter Joy!!

Make this Easter a day they will never forget and they will long to experience for years to come.

May the words Ps. 30:5 come alive this year: “Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning!”

For He IS Risen, just as He said!  He is Risen.. Indeed!!

For more information about

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this BlogIMG-0573

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed

*The advertisements at the bottom of this page are chosen by WordPress, not by ReFocus Ministry, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the author.

Using Fear Tactics? There’s a better way

/ Christina Embree / Leave a comment

In Kentucky, we are 2.5 weeks into a “Healthy at Home” response to the current COVID-19 pandemic that has impacted the entire globe. In the days and weeks leading up to these stronger restrictions, I began to read social media posts from my fellow Christians calling for the media to stop “fear mongering” or using fear tactics to hype the virus and, in their estimation, cause panic.

But lately a surprising and frankly discouraging trend seems to have replaced this call for the media to stop using fear as a motivator. Over the past two weeks I have seen posts that say things like this:  “You know what’s even scarier than coronavirus? Depart from me, I never knew you – Jesus” or “Corona virus is God’s way of calling America to repentance”

Friends, that is fear-mongering.

Using the abundant LOVE God showed us through His Son in order to bring us eternal life as a tool of fear to scare people into repentance? That is not right. It is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4) not his wrath.

little-boy-1635065_1920And while it is true that our kids are not likely reading these posts, we have to be careful in how we approach children at this time. They are already scared. Things don’t make sense.  I am going to make the broad assumption that people aren’t saying these things to children but it concerns me that they are getting said at all.

Is there another way?

Absolutely there is. We serve a God who is Love incarnate. We have the opportunity to life up life and hope and peace because we serve the God of life, hope and peace. Believe it or not, that can be done without using fear to motivate people. The salvation offered to us by Jesus Christ doesn’t need the threat of eternal damnation behind it to be effective.

Here are some ways we can lead from FAITH and not FEAR:

Acknowledge the world honestly, MAGNIFY the Lord intentionally – Yes, there are bad things that happen in the world. Hiding the truth from people, especially kids, will only make them more inquisitive. Talk to them when they ask about things that are scary BUT don’t focus on the scary thing; intentionally shift your focus to how GREAT God is

This virus is scary. My kids and my friends’ kids are asking questions every day so I assume most kids are. And we can answer them honestly without magnifying fear. What we can do is reassure them that we are with them, God is always with them, and that they are not alone.

Walk by FAITH and not by SIGHT – Kids watch what we model. If we make decisions or post memes out of fear, that will be the model that they learn from. If we model decision-making and social media sharing from a place of faith and seeking God, that’s what they will learn to do as well.

Be the HANDS and FEET of Christ – We are confronted with the reality of a fallen world on a daily basis. People who are lost, in need, alone. When we become Christ to those people by serving them and sharing hope and life with them, we show our kids that faith conquers fear every time and we model participation on the life of Christ as the way to approach a Christian life.

One our our church members recently started a Zoom Call called “Fort Fellowship” where she gathers kids and families together in a blanket fort they’ve built and share a short Bible Study. Each time we gather, she issues a challenge for us to bless others even while we are apart. To write a letter, call someone who is alone, make a card, share a video, and in that way be the hands and feet of Christ even as we are physically separate.

PRAY without ceasing – The reality is we cannot protect our kids forever from the results of living in a broken world. We can minister and parent from faith, we can give them tools for the task, and we can hold their hand for a while, but eventually we have to let go. But, we never have to stop praying, in the morning, at lunch, before bed, while we walk along the road, while we sit in our house. We can always, always pray. Pray together, pray apart, and pray often.

One day, this crazy season of life will be over (and there will be a new one with new challenges and opportunities). Let’s give our kids and families the best possible foundation on which to move forward.

“Now these three remain, faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love.” I Corinthians 13:13

For more information about

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this BlogIMG-0573

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed

*The advertisements at the bottom of this page are chosen by WordPress, not by ReFocus Ministry, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the author.