Let’s Give Them Hope

“Here’s what’s wrong.”

We start a lot of conversations with that sentiment.

Because let’s be honest – there’s a lot of things that are wrong.  There are a lot of things in this world that are wrong.  There are a lot of things that can get our blood boiling, our hearts pounding, our anger kindled and our hearts heavy. Today in particular, my heart is burdened for the Kurdish people, for the children who have already died or watched their parents die. I hate war and what it does to humanity.

And it’s not hard to find things like this and more.  Every day I read blogs that enumerate and extricate the wrong in the world, everything from drinking from water bottles to terrible wars and gross abuse.   There is a lot to get frustrated about. And the church, well, we have a lot to say about a lot of things.

I don’t know.  I’m not even here to say that we shouldn’t notice these things and speak up about them.  You all know, I’ve written my fair share of blogs stating my own “Here’s what’s wrong…”. And my version of pacifism isn’t passive at all but active in pursuing justice and hope in this world.

portrait-1880161_1920But I look at children and I see the hope in their eyes as they look to the future and they think about this world and I can’t help but think that all of my “here’s what’s wrongs” aren’t doing them any favors.

Even if I’m right about what’s wrong and even if it’s something they need to know is wrong, I’m beginning to think the conversation needs to start further back, before the wrong, to what is right.

In the beginning, God created the heaven and earth…and it was good.  Later on, sin entered the world, and it was wrong.  But the wrong that came did not negate the good that was.  If anything, the wrong that came showed us just how good the good was and our souls began craving that Good once again (Rom. 7).

But, if we taste that good, if we enter into that grace and once again experience all the good that God has to lavish on our souls, and then spend our days pointing out all the bad all around us…are we really living into the abundant life God has purchased for us?  Shouldn’t the good be our launching point, not the bad?

Hear me, I’m not saying we ignore what’s wrong.

I’m not saying we excuse it or dismiss it or pretend it’s not there.

In fact, I think we are actually called to speak out, to defend those who can’t speak for themselves, to be the voice to the voiceless and the friend to the marginalized.

But for me, I think I want to change the tone of the conversation.  Instead of starting with the “Here’s what’s wrong” routine, I think I want to start from the “Here’s what’s right” standpoint.  Instead of only pointing fingers, I want to extend grace as it has been extended to me. I want to start with Genesis 1 not Genesis 3.  I want my kids to know what’s right in this world and that all hope is not lost because we serve a God of future and hope. 

When I see the sin in this world, I don’t want to simply “smh” and walk away.

I want to remember that before the sin, God was good.

I want to tell my kids, “God is good.  His love is perfect.  What you see there, that wrong you are experiencing, that’s not Him.  That’s not His ways.  That’s not His heart.  Here’s what’s right in this world – God loved us SO MUCH that He sent His Son into this world to rescue us from the wrong and wrap us up in the good and whoever believes in Him can experience that abundant life.”

Because I believe that if we start celebrating what is right more, we may see actual changes to what is wrong. If we celebrate the good we see, it will contrast so much to the wrong, that it may help more people choose the good.  We can see that happen in simple things like Ellen’s statement this week to “be kind to everyone.”  That statement went viral seconds after it was posted because people are hungry for good. Ultimately, they are hungry for Christ, and as the Church, we are the ones who can point to that ultimate good.

What if we started more conversations with “Here’s what’s right…”

What if we celebrated more?  What if we affirmed each other more?

What if we took the time to point out the amazing things that are happening all around us every. single. day?

There’s HOPE to be had, there’s good to be noticed, and God is still at work in this world today.  

I want to give my kids something to fight FOR, not just things to fight against.

There are things that are wrong.  There are horrible terrible things.

But there are things that are good.  And I happen to think our children are one of those things and given the tools of love, grace, and hope, I believe they can be world-changers. I want to send the next generation out to wage peace in this world because they know there is good worth fighting for and they see it all around them.


For more information about

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this Blog

EmbreeFam2017

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed

*The advertisements on this page are chosen by WordPress, not by ReFocus Ministry and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the author. 

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Kids in Church: What do You Expect is Going to Happen?

A wise person once shared with my husband that “Frustration is the difference between expectation and reality.”  He went on to say, “If you are frustrated, you will need to either change your expectation or you will need to change your reality.”  As we continue to have conversations about including all generations in corporate worship, I think it might be wise for us to do consider this idea

In the past, the church has chosen to “change the reality.”  When children and youth were seen as distracting or having specialized needs that couldn’t be met in a corporate worship setting, the church changed the reality.

We removed them from the space, put them in their own spaces, and separated the generations from one another as much as possible.

To be clear, there is a lot of good that comes out of age-sensitive ministry. In fact, an approach that completely overlooks the unique needs of each age would be a bad idea. However, time has revealed to us some unintended consequences of the age segregation model adopted in the mid-20th century. And it’s not just in the church; our whole culture bought into the idea that separating generations is a good idea…but we were wrong.

family-4295385_1920Researchers have found that among the unforeseen results of age segregation are things like “negative stereotypes and people feeling isolated from each other” and “features of antisocial behavior and to socialization for competitiveness and aggressiveness.” (source).

In the church, Dr. Kara Powell shares that “A lot of kids aren’t going to both youth group and church on Sundays; they’re just going to youth group. As a result, graduates are telling us that they don’t know how to find a church. After years at the kids’ table, they know what youth group is, but they don’t know what church is.” (source).

Changing our reality doesn’t seem to have worked. In fact, it seems to have really hurt us in the long run. We are losing generations.

So what if instead of that, we changed our expectations?

We’ve grown up in an era where generations were segregated and separated from one another and we expect church to be a place that is tailored to meet our needs. We expect that we would have a certain experience at church and we expect others to have a similar one. We go to church for certain expected reasons (to worship, to hear a sermon, to grow in our faith, to get re-charged, to be with our friends). And those expectations often fail to be met when we put the generations in one room together.

If we were to change our expectations, what would that look like?  What expectations could we have instead?

Expect the church to be more than Sunday morning

When we look at the church of the New Testament, we find a group of people who are doing life together. They aren’t meeting once a week to have their needs met; they are invested in one another all week long, meeting one another’s needs throughout that time so that there’s not a one shot fix on Sunday morning.

What if our expectation was that there are times for both worship together, all generations, and discipleship apart, meeting the specific developmental needs of each generation?  What if our expectation was both/and not either/or?

Expect children to be children

There is no way a five-year-old is going to come to church to “get something” out of the sermon.  And because of that, it’s easy to say that kids don’t get anything out of church. But we are putting adult expectations on non-adults.

What if we adjusted those expectations so that children could be children?  They will “get something” out of church, but it likely won’t be the same things adults will (For more on that, click here).

Expect the church to be family

Sociologists have said “in contemporary Western societies, which are marked by widespread institutional, spatial, and cultural age segregation, only the family surviv(es) as an age-integrated institution.” (source)  But the church, as seen in Scripture, is to be like a family; one body with many parts, but one body nonetheless.

If we expect our church to be like family then we would expect to hear the littles crying, the bigs talking, the older sharing and the younger learning. We would expect to be together.

I can’t help but wonder if we shifted our expectations to ones like these, would our Sunday mornings (and Wednesday nights and Friday afternoons) begin to look and feel different to us?

Would we begin to see church as something more than a once-a-week re-charge and more of a communal way of living where we do life together?

And would our children and  youth and our seniors and elderly all know that they have a place at our family table?

And, perhaps, would we be a little less frustrated when we hear a child cry in service, laugh during a sermon, wiggle and squirm at the doxology, run up to the altar for communion or dance during the worship service?

Perhaps.  Perhaps it is time to change our expectations.


A version of this article first appeared on this blog in October 2017.

For more information about

Check out to ReFocus Ministry or “like” our Facebook page. Join our conversation at theReFocus Family and Intergen Ministry group on Facebook.

About this Blog

EmbreeFam2017

Refocus Ministry was started by Christina Embree, wife to Pastor Luke, mom to three wonderful kids, and church planter at Plowshares BIC. With years of experience in family ministry and children’s ministry, she is passionate about seeing churches partnering with families to encourage faith formation at home and equipping parents to disciple their kids in the faith. She recently graduated with a Masters of Arts in Ministry focusing on Family, Youth and Children’s Ministry at Wesley Seminary, she also blogs at www.refocusministry.org and is a contributing blogger at D6 Family, ChurchLeaders.com, and Seedbed

*The advertisements on this page are chosen by WordPress, not by ReFocus Ministry and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the author.