“Intergenerational ministry is not optional. It’s necessary. We need to connect the generations in relationships. Period.”
This was the final big takeaway from one of our ReFocus cohorts that ended yesterday. This conviction came after 12 weeks of digging deep into the impact of intergenerational relationships and generational discipleship on all ages, old and young, in making lifelong disciples.
But that revelation led to another simple question, “How?” How does this person help others to understand the need for and the ways to connect generations in meaningful relationships?
In this particular situation, parents and caregivers were the main target to help rising generations to build relationships with the larger faith community. Our conversation reminded me of an experience I had as a young parent myself.
About a decade ago, a small group of parents that we were a part of read the book Sticky Faith by Kara Powell, Brad Griffen, and Chap Clark. In this book, the research focused on young people who had stayed connected to their faith post high-school and continued to demonstrate a strong faith in college.
One major factor that they found was the importance of an intergenerational “web” made up of at least five adults who were involved in the lives of those young people.
Because of this, my husband and I made it a habit to randomly ask our kids if they can name five adults who they know love them and are praying for them. Often they could. Sometimes they couldn’t. When they couldn’t, we set about to find mature, Christian adults that we love and trust to connect with our kids.
As a result of this intentionality, our children, even our adult children, continue to have a rich web of intergenerational relationships that we have cultivated that surround them. They don’t all look the same or even respond in the same way to the adults that they have relationships with, but generally, when asked, they can name five adults who they know love them and pray for them.
I truly believe that intergenerational community is a major missing component in most churches as they tend to be separated by age and life experience with little room for generational overlap and space to form meaningful relationships.
Therefore, in addition to encouraging our churches to transition to more intentional, connectional communities with opportunities for generations to grow together, here are some practical tips for parents/caregivers who want to be intentional about finding those people for their kids and youth.
Dinner Together
One of the main ways we were able to connect our kids with adults was through inviting various adult members of our faith community into our home on a regular basis and not shooing the kids off to their own space but encouraging our kids/youth to remain at the table or in the living room as we visited. We’ve had grown adults jumping on trampolines, watching cartoons, and making homemade pizzas in our kitchen together with our kids and and those moments have forged opportunities for connection.
Pray For Me
I’ve spoken often on this blog about churches using the Pray For Me Campaign to connect generations at church through intercessory prayer. But even if your church doesn’t officially sponsor something, there is no reason you could not reach out to a few adults and ask them to pray for your kids through the academic year. The accompanying book is available for purchase on Amazon and would be a perfect way to invite a more intentional connection between your family and a person of prayer.
Extend the Invitation
If your child(ren) is involved in sports, community theater, dance, karate, etc. there is a huge opportunity for you to create space for connections and relationships simply by extending an invitation to others to join you in cheering your child on or watching them perform. I know from experience how meaningful it is to look out in an audience or the crowd in the stands and know that they are there for you because they care about you and for no other reason.
BONUS: Talk to your leadership at church and see if they could dedicate a space like a bulletin board for parents and kids to post their sports/extracurricular schedules so that older church members can make plans to attend. Imagine what a blessing that would be to all!
Ask the Question
If you decide to ask your child if they can name five adults that love them and are praying for them, be prepared to be surprised by some of the names your child might share. We never know the connections that our child makes in their own heart and mind to others and, once we know that connection exists, we have the opportunity to foster it into something that cultivates faith formation and healthy spiritual growth. It also helps us to know if there are any connections that we might find concerning and need to circumvent them for the protection and health of our child.
There are many other ways that we can help connect our kids in healthy, ongoing discipleship relationships with members of our faith community, but hopefully these four will be a good start to creating an intentional web of relationships for your children. Encourage the leadership at your church to consider providing ways for families to connect across generations both in and out of the church building and make the first steps in reaching out to those beyond your typical circle. The results can literally be life-changing!
Easter Photo Scavenger Hunt Downloadable
Are you looking for an alternative to an Easter Egg Hunt? Something that can bring the whole family together?
ReFocus Ministry is currently offering a FREE downloadable Easter Photo Scavenger Hunt. This family-friendly alternative to an Easter Egg Hunt engages the whole family in the story of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection. Plus, it lets them capture their memories in seven family photographs so they can relive the story
About the Author
Christina Embree is the founder and director of ReFocus Ministry. She holds a masters in ministry focused on Children, Youth, and Family Ministry and a doctorate in spiritual formation with a focus on age segregation and intergenerational ministry. In addition to coaching churches of multiple denominations and traditions all around the globe, Christina serves as the Minister of Generational Discipleship for the Great Lakes Conference of the Brethren in Christ and as a pastor at Plowshares Brethren in Christ in Lexington, Kentucky. She is widely recognized as a speaker and author in the areas of generational discipleship, intergenerational ministry, and family ministry. As the mother of three children, she is familiar with the challenges of faith at home and pastoral ministry. She along with her husband Luke share a love for the church, their community, and the global work of peace and restoration through Jesus.
Interested in having Christina visit your church, speak at your conference, or coach your team? Christina speaks on a wide range of topics related to children, youth, and family ministry with a unique focus on connecting generations for discipleship within your church. Her personalized approach allows you to pinpoint the needs of your community and gain the insight that you are looking for. Whether this is a volunteer team training and pastoral staff meeting or a ministerial conference, her experience and knowledge will help you determine the next step forward in creating lifelong disciples.
Learn more at https://refocusministry.org/speaking-coaching/ and fill our our Speaker Interest Form at https://forms.gle/5Xzs5BE8pfyU2top9 to receive a personalized response.
