Seven Ways to Start Connecting Generations

A frequently asked question at ReFocus is “What does this actually look like in churches?”  “This” being an age-integration church where generations have the opportunity to connect with one another, build meaningful relationships, and foster a culture of a lifelong discipleship.

Age inclusiveness is not a one-size-fits-all approach nor is it a program or curriculum that can be implemented which can sometimes make it difficult to answer that question. Because it looks very different in different churches. And the tendency when describing what it “looks like” is to begin describing programs and practices that, while important, can’t fully reflect the culture that has developed over time.

Culture change is rarely a smooth or rapid process. Rather, it’s a consistent movement in a specific direction. It’s myriads of subtle shifts in language, action, interaction, and resource allocation that compound over time to create a new reality. In other words, it’s the little things you do that make a big difference when it comes to creating intergenerational community at church. 

Part of the culture change comes in the form of language, the way you talk about your church. The last few blogs have been about exactly that – using words that reflect welcome and invitation for all ages and creating spaces that reflect the words we are using. I’d invite you to consider reading those for that context.

But the second step is action, actually doing the things we have stated we want to do – build a community of faith across generations. This is where the temptation to rely on programming and curriculum begins to creep in.

Hear me when I say that am not opposed to programming or curriculum aimed at bringing generations together; far from it – ReFocus offers our own curriculum to help families experience discipleship at church together.

The issue arises when we rely on these things to create culture rather than using them to support the culture we’ve already cultivated. 

In our Connect Generations case study from 2022, one of the key findings we noted was that churches who were dependent on institutional constructs such as intergenerational curriculum, programming, and other church structures to bring generations together, rarely had success in translating those opportunities for connection into meaningful relationships. They could point to places where generations could be in a space together but they couldn’t demonstrate meaningful relationships being cultivated beyond those spaces.

An intergenerational culture is more than just having a bunch of different ages in a room together. An intergenerational culture cultivates a space where the room no longer matters because relationships are happening outside of the room, consistently throughout the week, and faith stories are being shared in multiple contexts outside of the regular service time.

That’s not to say there are not small, practical steps that we can take now to begin to nurture that type of intergenerational community.  In fact, it is those little things can help provide a foundation on which those programs and structures we tend to gravitate towards can flourish.

The same case study mentioned above showed that churches who relied primarily on relational constructs (helping members to form intergenerational relationships through things like service projects, mission experiences, and prayer relationships) generally experienced a thicker intergenerationality in all areas, not just in the relational constructs. In other words, helping our faith communities grow together in relationships will lay the groundwork needed for introducing other programmatic structures that allow all ages to worship, learn, and serve together.

Where can we start? 

We are generally a people of action. We need a thing to do in order to wrap our heads around the concepts we are embodying.  Below is a list of “little things” that can help move a culture towards more connection.

Little things like…

• Learning and saying the names of the oldest and youngest members of your church. This can be especially poignant when these names are spoken in prayer in a fashion such as the Pray For Me campaign.
• Creating space for and encouraging the practice of sharing faith stories (testimonies) in the communal gathering.
• Shifting monies in the budget towards more “together” opportunities rather than age-segregated programming. When we put our money where our mouth is, we send a very public message that this thing is important to us and therefore, important to our community.
• Consistently bringing up the importance of “welcoming all-ages” as a core value of the church in both verbal and written communication. 
• Posting signage that not only directs people to age-specific areas but also to common gathering areas.
• Equipping common areas with furniture, bulletin boards or message centers, and interactive stations that incorporate all ages into that space. Be creative!! View your common spaces not simply as a pass-through location (lobby) or an extracurricular activity space (gym/family life center) but as a place where people intentionally gather to build relationships and equip the space for that work!
• Incorporating all-ages into decision-making and stage presence on a regular basis (not only on special occasions).

Over time, these little things, once they become the normative and regular practice of the community, will create a big change and ready the space for more times of learning and worshiping as the body of Christ, together. Then when you introduce an all-age bible study or a prayground in the worship space or intergenerational small groups or age-integrated worship, the foundation has been laid and the culture has already shifted towards one of being together rather than living life apart.

“So, you never answered the question, what does it look like? “
Over the next few weeks, we will be sharing the stories of some churches who have worked to create a culture of inclusivity for all ages and how it “looks” at their church.

Remember, the answer to the question of including generations isn’t a copy-paste scenario.
We share these stories not necessarily because we think you should do what they did but because they can help us dream big for our own community. So stay tuned as we share the faith stories of some congregations who did the work, shifted the culture, and are living more intergenerationally than ever.

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